Overused Plot Parody #6: He Got Irked!

  So, I finally got an idea for these again! After the epic fail that was "Back to Tak" , I came up with a next instalment of the series after a hiatus.

  Ladies and Gents, I give you....

                                He Got Irked!

   Zim and Dib were in the heat of battle in Zim's lab. Zim had captured people as test subjects, and you know Dib wouldn't let that go on.

   Zim shoved Dib into a weird generator, labeled "The Plot Device", that just so happened to be in the corner. When Dib hit the generator, something flickered on his face. It was an Irken face. Zim freaked out. "The Dib? Half-Irken?" Dib tilted his head. "Really? That's your first conclusion?" Zim ignored Dib. "COMPUTER! SCAN THE INSIGNIFICANT IRKEN IMPOSTOR!" "Yes, Alliterative Master!" The computer replied, scanning Dib.

  "Sir! Dib is inexplicably an Irken." Zim and Dib freaked out. "My kind, soiled!" Zim screeched. "My life! Ruined!" Dib shouted. There was insane giggling. The two horrified enemies looked left to a container holding a girl.

  "Yay! You two can work together to destroy mankind!" Dib raised an eyebrow. "Why would I do that?" The girl smiled. "'Cause your gunna looooooovve each other!" Dib and Zim were disgusted. "Or maybe you're brothers!" They were both  doubly disgusted, and Zim was about to rant about how the mighty Zim had no siblings, and he was too amazing to have relatives, anyway. Then the girl made a blasphemous claim so horrible, the author could not bear to write it.

  Zim lost it. "COMPUTER! KILL THIS HORRIBLE HUMAN FULL OF LIIIIIIEEEEESSSSSS!!!!!!!" Zim looked around. "Where is the disgraceful Dib-Irken?" The Computer answered, "He left, saying something about wanting to end it all rather than be the same creature as his worst enemy..." Zim scowled. "Eh, I can't let him do that! Only I am allowed to end the Dib! Selfish abomination..."

  Zim began to storm out of his lab. "Eeeeeeee! He's gonna save Dib! He DOES love him..." The girl squealed. "COMPUTER!!!" Zim called. The Computer analyzed the human. How was he going to end her? Lasers? No, they'd been overused lately. Neurotoxin? No, that seemed like another AI's shtick.

   Suffocate the human in a liquid-solid? "That's original...." He mused. Yep, The Computer was going to go with that....

THE END

-----

 Well, there you have it!

  And relax, no eleven-year-old boys committed suicide in the creation of this FanFic/Parody...

Parody #1
Parody #2
Parody #3
Parody #4
Parody #5

Overused Plot Parody #5- Back to Tak

  Hey, it's been a while since I've done one o' these, eh? So, I've done New Girls, Dib Daddy Issues, Zim Learning The Truth, and Zim/Dib Having "Heel Face/Face Heel Turns" .... What's left?

 Oh,Idon'tknow... TAK'S RETURN!!!!!

 BACK TO TAK

 They say her fall out of the sky, on fire. The all-familiar female Irken looked them in the eyes, with a smile akin to a slasher. "TAK!" Dib and Zim shouted in unison. "She's on fire. It must huuuuurrrrrtttt." GIR pointed out, then walked out. Zim cleared his throat. "So, I assume you're here to team up with me and fall HELPLESSLY in love with me, because you are pathetic and not as AMAZING as me...."

 This kind of threw Tak off her mojo. "What? No. I'm here for revenge. I HATE YOU!"

 "Then she must be here for me." Dib said, looking smug.

 "NO! I want you gone, too." Tak growled. She readied to kill them, when..........

 "YOU WON'T HURT MY BABY!" Zo popped out of nowhere, screaming and rushing to protect Dib. "I THOUGHT WE SETTLED THIS WHEN YOU DIED IN THE FIRST PARODY!" Vix shouted, appearing and brutally killing Zo in a way no human can describe. Then a figure in a black hood appeared. "VIX! I told you not to abuse the Deus Ex Machina! Back to the basement to "rehabilitate" you!" Vix groaned, and walked over to the Black Hooded Figure. She looked over to Dib. "You will be mine...." She whispered. They dissapeared in a portal, and the Fourth Wall reappeared.

 Zim blinked. "Eh?"

 Tak took this weird coincidence to jump into the sky and activate her PAK legs. She lunged at her enemies, like a bird of prey, getting closer.....


THE END?

 There you go! Yeah, this was weirder than I thought.

Number Six Here!

A Weird OHP "Fanfic": LLAMA!!!!!!

 And now, for something completely different.

 This AWESOME group, Operation Head Pigeons (AKA "Operation Head Pigeons 2.0" on Facebook), has hit 10,000 likes on Facebook not long ago. So, I decided to write the girls over there a "Fanfic" of sorts. Is this weird? Kinda. But anyway, this is my little gift to them. I've been a pigeon since the original "Operation Head Pigeons". So, here we go!

 LLAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 The Control Brains and The OHP Tallest were hanging out in OHP Land. Tallest Sarah and CB Hillary were discussing the awesomeness of Richard Horvitz. CB Lillias was writing an MST of a bad Fanfic and trying to hold on to her will to live though a particularly bad part. "The plot thickens." She said to herself. CB REL was reading reviews for her singing of the OHP version of "Want You Gone", and CB Opera and Meadow were drawing. And Jackie and Alexia were talking to each other.

 Suddenly, Tallest Karissa  burst into the scene.

 "GUYS! THE LLAMA FINALLY LOST HIS VOICE!" Everyone gasped. "You mean the llama that keeps us from telling THE SECRET?" Meadow asked. "Yes, and wonderful exposition, Meadow." Jackie replied. REL smiled, "This means..." "...We can tell the secret." Opera answered. "Okay guys," Sarah said, "on the count of three..."

"ONE...."
"TWO..."
"THREE!"

 Suddenly, there was loud hip-hop music. A low-rider car drove by loudly as they spoke THE SECRET. Upon closer inspection, one could see a llama in shades, driving. On his licence plate, it read: "LLAMA!"

 Everyone stood there, in shock.

 "I forgot me and Sarah took the llama to the DMV to get a Driver's Licence." Hillary said. Alexia looked over at Hillary. "It seemed like a good idea..." Alexia scowled. "I TOLD you guys that was a bad idea! I swear, sometimes it's like I'm not here..."

THE END!

 Any Head Pigeons out there? Were the CBs and Tallest "In-Character", so to speak. Tell me what you think! CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM, please!

RANDOM GUESSES!

 One of the funny things on this one site, TV Tropes, is the Wild Mass Guessing. Sometimes, the guesses are serious ("_____ Will Die The Next Episode", for example), while others are ridiculous and joking ( for example, "_______ is Cyclops's Son"). So, I decided to do my own, mostly goofy, ones.

The guess is in bold, the explanation in normal, just so yous know.

 HEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRE WE GOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

***

Perry The Platypus is a Milliner.

 In The Looking Glass Wars, Hatter Madigan (AKA The Mad Hatter) is a Milliner, who are like soldiers with cool hats that do all sorts of stuff (Madigan's top hat becomes blades, for example). Perry's hat does some fly stuff. Thus, part of the OWCA's training must be Milliner training.

YJ Robin and Dr. Doofenshmertz are related somehow.

 Both tend to play around with prefixes (Dr. D:"Your timing is impeccable, and by impeccable I mean COMPLETELY PECCABLE!"; Robin: "Would "aster" be the opposite of disaster?"). Coincidence? I THINK NOT! (*Told you these can be ridiculous*)

Luxord was a pirate.

 Now, this one I'm kinda serious about. In Kingdom Hearts II, "Luxy" knows about "parlay", and I don't think that's common knowledge. Plus, if you look at the Pieces of Eight in Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End, one is a card (Luxord's signature weapon). Obviously, Luxord was one of the original Pirate Lords, and time just... passes differently.

Cheren is based on Dib.

 When I first played Pokemon Black, I noticed a weird similarity Cheren had:

Cheren.

Dib.

 See? Their hair has the same sorta look. And they wear glasses and blue stuff. And they're both pretty smart. I'd post an anime version of Dib, but I don't want some fan*insertgenderhere* to get mad that I stole their drawing, then chase me down the street with replicas of the Buster Sword and the Gunblade..... again. Obviously, someone over at Game Freak is a Zim Fan.

***

 Well, that's it. That's all I got.... FOR NOW.... *evil laugh*

Overused Plot Parody Theater #4: Whose Side Are You On?

 Been a long time since I've done one of these, huh? So here's plot parody 4: Zim or Dib have a change of heart.

****

WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON!?

 Zim had an epiphany one morning. The human race was beautiful, with it's ignorance, and disgustingness. He decided that he would work with the human race. He would become..... A LAWYER! Like this guy he saw in some superhero movie he watched for research. But he was blind, so obviously these "lawyers" had to have some sort of horrible handicap.

 So Zim was going to gorge out his eyes.

 BUT! Before he could mutilate himself, Dib BURST into his base. "ZIM! I've realized my species is horrible! I am going to align myself with you to destroy them!"

 Zim looked to Dib, "But.... your species is beautiful! Why would you do that? I no longer seek destruction, Dib!"

 Dib snarled and headed for the door.....

 "But you make a good point! I must destroy them!"

 "What!? Well, I'll stop you!"

 "Well, I want to help humanity again!"
 "UGH! I just remembered how much the human race stinks! I MUST ELIMINATE IT!"

 This went on for a long time. The Computer groaned and shut itself down. GIR got bored and ran to Las Vegas, and then promptly razed it to the ground. It was Minimoose who snapped. He went to the lab.

 "NYAH!" He screeched, and FIRED A LAZAH AT THEM!

 The two promptly realigned themselves to their proper sides.

 And peace was restored.


THE END!

The next one's here!
Parody 1
Parody 2
Parody 3

Overused Plot Parody Theater #3: THE MISSION IS A LIE!!!

 I had trouble coming up with a new one, but I got it. Here's the perennial favorite, "Zim finds out his mission wasn't real". Oh, and be prepared for a cameo from someone from a previous story.....

 THE MISSION IS A LIE!!!

   "....Yeah, so, we lied to you. There is no mission. We just wanted to get rid of you. So quit calling, we hate you. Bye."

  The transmission cut. Zim just stood there. He didn't say a word. He didn't even acknowledge the strangely-camera-like fly orbiting around him.

 Turns out, the fly was Dib's, and he was watching it all. "I've been fighting a fake invader? He's just an outcast like me?" Dib said. "Wow, Zim seems to be in shock. What's this? I'm feeling sympathy for my enemy? And, speaking aloud again? Hmm.."

 Meanwhile, Zim saw the fly. "Eh.. INSECT! HOW DARE YOU INVADE ZIM'S BASE!? DIIIIIIIIIEEEEE!!!!!" He then promptly destroyed it. With LAZAHS! And screaming. Oh, the screaming....

 VIGNETTE TIME!

  DIB

  "Zim, I... guess I'm sorry about fighting you all the time. I didn't realize your situation. If you ever need to talk about it, I'm also... hated by my own kind. I'll be there for yo.."

 "SILENCE, WEIRD-ACTING DIB! YOU HAVE BEEN FED LIES! MY TALLEST WERE MERELY JOKING! HAHAHAHAHA! ZIM WILL NEVER COME TO YOU WITH ZIM'S PROBLEMS!!! However few they are...."

 "Zim, denial is nat..."

 "GAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!"

GAZ

 Zim was sitting on the steps of Skool, hiding from the Dib. He was acting peculiar, lately. Suddenly, he saw Gaz sitting by him.

 "Hey, you're probably thinking your species is horrible now. Well, mine is, too. So, if you want to, I dunno, go to Bloaty's sometime..."

 "NO! YOU ARE BEING PECULIAR, TOO, DIB-SISTER!"

 "Zim, I'm only nice for one hour a year, enjoy it while you..."

 There was a beep, Gaz looked at her watch. She smiled. "Time's up." She then beat Zim across the head, PAK, and chest area. Then she did something unspeakable and violent to his squeedly-spootch.

SPECIAL GUEST

 Zim walked home. Why did everyone act weird? Maybe that Dib had spied on him and his Tallest, then told Gaz what he saw. Suddenly, Zim heard a shriek and was tackled.

 He felt someone hug him. "Oh, my ZIM-MEEEE! I heard the Tallests' call through my special powers. Oh, I'm so sorry, baby. I'll always be there for you."

 "WHO ARE YOU, STRANGE FILTHY GIRL-HUMAN!"

 The girl flipped him around. She sat on him. She had multi-colored hair and a motorcyclist's outfit. "Oh, honey. You don't remember the love of your life? The one who makes your squeedly-spootch flutter?"

 "The squeedly-spootch isn't...."

 She ripped off her head, revealing a female Irken face with unnatural golden eyes highlighted with pink. "It's me, Jaz!" Jaz then started to lean in to kiss Zim, when.....

....

 Zim opened his eyes. He was on the street in his old man disguise. It was late. He noticed his skin grew back on his eyeballs. GIR was sleeping beside him. "GIR! I can see. I CAN SEE!"

 It was then Zim swore to NEVER sleep again. He would find a way to erase the need. The last thing he wanted were more horrific nightmares like that......

 THE END
  
The First Here.
The Second Here.

Update To The ZIM COSTUMES

  You know how long ago I spoke of the Bad ZIM Costumes? And I mentioned my worst nightmare: that they made an IZ costume as one of those girl costumes that look.... er.... well.... that nightmare has come true....

There are....so many things wrong with this....

 The Freak is sad now. It's not AS bad as I pictured. But still....... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Everything I Know, I Learned From INVADER ZIM

 As I said in the post before, you're getting two posts today.

 You know how they have those "Everything I Know, I Learned From ______"? Like for Star Wars? And they have all sorts of crazy "facts" form the subject? Like for Star Wars, one of them was "Always let the wookie win". So a long time ago, I started one for, *drumroll*, INVADER ZIM!

 Here we go!


 Everything I Know, I Learned Form Invader Zim

*More organs means more human*Absorbency, Electrical Conductivity, and an unspeakable thing with a beaver and a toy taxi are the true tests of friendship*Humans don't have squeedly-spooches*If a big 'splody goes fast, it gets all bad*'sploding hurts*The FBI is a craft law enforcement agency founded in 1492 by demons to hunt aliens*There's waffle in waffles*It's four promotions from frycook to ruler of all mankind*Paranormal Investigation is a legitimate field of study*Mercury and Mars are spaceships*Martians worked themselves into extinction to convert their planet into a starship*People love shaking*Our society is a perilous house of cards destined to collapse under its own weight*The universe is just doomed*Dreams lead to hideous implosions*Paranormal Investigation isn't just a bunch of people who believe in anything, they also disprove the frauds*Space will eventually implode in on itself*Humans don't have arm-control nerves*People can't resist a fat man with presents*You can't pay for cookies with ham*Tuna is worth nothing*The moose is not wielding any sort of projectile weapons*We're not pigs*


So there it is! Anything I missed? This hard to read? Let me know in the magical comments and I'll fix this!

Overused Plot Parody Theater #2: Why Daddy?

 Hey, peoples! I'm doing another overused IZ Fanfic Plot Parody! Last week I did a "New Girl" Ripoff Parody and today here's the next one.

 The parody: Dib has Daddy Issues/Professor Membrane is an abusive Parent!

 This will probably be shorter, but on with the show!

 WHY DADDY?

  Dib sat on his bed, reading his book. Suddenly, he heard a thumping sound on his door. He rolled his eyes. "Oh, not again..." Suddenly, his father's floating monitor burst into his room.

 "Son! Why are you a failure!? You're insane!" The Professor shouted, bopping against Dib's head. "Ow. Ow. Dad. No. Stop." Dib said, deadpan. "IT'S TIME TO LEARN YOU A LESSON! WITH SCIENCE!" Dib sighed, got up, and walked away from his dad. Meanwhile, Membrane was shouting stuff and activated a tazer-thing.

 LATER, AFTER DIB WALKED! OH, YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN IT!

 ZIM opened his door, and saw Dib standing on his porch with a sleeping bag. "Can I stay at your base? My dad's having one of his "episodes" again..."

 ZIM glared at him. "No." And slammed the door.

 And Dib slept in the mall parking lot with the Horrible Rat People.....

.....Again.
 THE END

 This has been Overused Plot Parody Theater. Check back next week for..... whatever plot I use next!   

The Third Here.

Story Time: Not Another New Girl! (Overused Plot Parody #1)

 So over on this other blog, The Half-World, theskepkitty (who runs the blog) wrote a list of overused  fanfic plots for INVADER ZIM. So I'm gonna mercilessly parody them! I already did an unfinished episode (but it wasn't a parody), so I'm gonna start with this one: A Rip-off of "Tak: The Hideous New Girl!"

COMMENCE READING!

NOT ANOTHER NEW GIRL!

 This was getting ridiculous.

 The new girl stood in front of the class beside Ms. Bitters. She was dressed in a polo and skirt from some strange store no one ever heard of: American Eagle. Her hair was blonde in a perky ponytail, and had glowy blue eyes. Ms. Bitters said, "Class,  I would like to introduce the newest, hopeless appendage to the student body. Her name is... Zo. Zo, if you have something to say, say it now, because after this moment, I don't wanna hear another sound from you!"

 "Deja vu," Dib thought. "Not this again!" ZIM thought.

 "Hiya! I'm Zo!" She looked over at Dib. "YOU CUTE! I LOVE YOU!" She leaped at Dib, only to be intercepted by yesterday's new girl, Vix. "Hands off my man!" Vix screeched. ZIM rolled his eyes. Another girl clinging to Dib. There had been an odd influx of new girls (and this two new boys, but one they ignored and the other.... made everyone feel awkward). They all generally seemed to be "in love" with either him or his nemesis. ZIM decided to take advantage of this by trying to make his admirers his "Army of DOOOOMMMM!!!!", but they were testing ZIM's nerves with every hour.

 Meanwhile, Zo and Vix finished their fight. Ms. Bitters, who seemed to ignore this, spoke up again. "You need a place to sit..." She pointed at Poonchy. "You! You're being transferred to the Underground Classroom!" ("Another one? That "classroom" must be full.." Dib thought.) Poonchy and his desk fell through the floor to a fiery inferno, and a new desk for Zo appeared.
 "POONCHY!" ZIM, Dib, and the few remaining "original" classmates (The Letter M, Keef, Chunk, Melvin, and Zootch) cried. "Whose gonna say stuff in a funny voice now?" Chunk said, melancholy. As everyone mourned their fallen classmate, Zo took her seat and looked lovingly at Dib. "Aww, he's so cute when he's sad.." she thought. Vix shot her a look, saying, "You wanna go another round?" Zo smirked, and threw herself and Vix out the window perfectly. During the tussle, Zo's mask fell off, revealing she was (gasp) an Irken!

 Dib groaned, and stepped in front of the class. "okay, who ISN'T an alien in this class?" Only a few new kids raised their hands, Dib and most of the original class (including ZIM, who Dib glared at and said, "We'll talk about this later, space boy!"). Everyone looked at Zootch weird, as he hadn't raised his hand. Nervously, he raised his hand, and everyone went about their business.

 ZIM stood up, "You're ALL after my mission, Irkens I never met! No one steals ZIM's mission, FAKES!"

 There were  various random outbursts:

 "But I'm a Vortian, pay attention like Dib!"

 "Aw, c'mon ZIM, bro, I'm not after your mission!"

 "That's an unfair generalization, y'all!"

 "I'm only half-Irken!"

 "You're cute, ZIM!"

"Hello! I'm a human, darling!"

 "Unentgeltlichen deutschen!"

 Vix walked up to the window, taking a break from killing Zo, "I'm not after your mission, roomie! Besides, I'm a genetically-altered EvIrken. DISTINCTION!" Zo stood up. "There's a mission you're on, ZIM? Since when?" Vix tackled Zo in response.

 ZIM had had it. He turned to the girl behind him (the Vortian named Kal-Lee, who transferred here last week), and stuck a needle in her hand, taking a DNA sample. "Owie! This is why I like Dib, you Irken creep! I hope the Resisty wipes your kind out!" Kal-Lee whined. He then proceeded to take samples from everyone.

  When ZIM went home, he went to work on his newest, most sinester device.

 The next day, a girl with a short, multi-colored bob dressed  like a motorcyclist stood before the class. "Hi, my name's Jaz. I'm new here."

 In an uncanny resemblance to last Valentine's Day, everyone monotoned, "Hello, Ta...we mean Jaz." Suddenly, Melvin was "transferred" to the underground classroom. As Jaz walked to her seat, she stopped at ZIM's desk, and hugged his head to her chest. "ZIMMY! I want you to know, when the Tallest inevitably tell you your mission is a lie, you can always come to me, sweetheart!" She started stroking his cheek.

 ZIM growled, shoving her away. "LIAR!" He shouted. He then pulled out a giant chemical bomb and turned it on. "DIE! DIE! DIE!" He screeched like a maniac. He then started laughing psychotically.  

 The bomb went off, spewing chemicals on every student. Then, everyone (the new kids and the old kids) started to melt in their own unique, special way. Dib turned to ZIM. "I never thought I'd say this, but thank you, ZIM!" ZIM smiled triumphantly. "But, why did you set it to kill the oth.." He then remembered this was ZIM, after all. "Never mind." 

 Then Dib started feeling hot and sweaty. Then a good chunk of his head started to ooze off. He looked at ZIM, whose face was melting as well. "You put DNA samples of us in there, too." ZIM had a look of realization. "GIR!" He shouted. "You weren't supposed to put my DNA in there! Now the acid is melting my genetic signature, too!" 

 "You jerk." Dib said furiously.

 THE END.

 Well, there it is! I'm planning on doing more "Overused Plot Parodies" in the future. Bye! 

Read The Second One Here!

Lame ZIM Halloween "Costumes"

 One of my pathological fears is that someday, someone will make really trampy INVADER ZIM costumes. I'm talking something like GIR's Doggy Suit with a short-french maid-eske skirt and a low neckline, or something like that. *shudders*

 Well, I've finally found some ACTUAL ZIM costumes via (where else?) Hot Topic, (as in, not cosplay), and while they're (thankfully) not naughty (but then again, they are are modeled for boys), they....... are kinda lame.

 Now you can enjoy them!

1. GIR KIT



So much effort put into this...

  Here's one of those "I'm too cool to wear a real costume" costumes. It's supposed to be partially GIR's Doggy Suit.

Yeah, this only really works if you wear a green shirt and black pants.



"GIR" in a snowstorm



 Here it is on the model.

 Sorry, it's fuzzy, but yeah, it's not fabulous. But, yeah, way to try!

2. MASKS

 Think a headband's too girly? Don't like zipper necklaces? Tail makes your butt look fat? No problem! Here's the answer to the laziness!



Deep down, he's crying....



 YES! You too can wear a lame mask! Suddenly, you're in a fantastic costume! Isn't it fabulous?

 But hey, you no-likey GIR? Have a friend you wants to match you in laziness? NO PROBLEM!



The hair and chin ruin the effect.

 IT COMES IN ZIM STYLE, TOO! ISN'T IT PEACHY?

 Yeah, see? Sooooooo lame. I dressed up as Human Disguise ZIM last year, and made my own eyes and painted my face. It looked better and showed more effort..... And didn't have my face ruin the "illusion"....

3. GIR'S DOGGIE SUIT-HOODIE-SACK COSTUME-THINGY!

 The last one I saw, ACTUALLY showed what resembled effort:

"IT'S NOT A DRESS, DUDES!"

 Not much, but "effort".
Yeah, it's still, kinda lame. And how much would YOU pay for this? $20? $10? That last sticky Lifesaver mint in your pocket that's covered in lint and a penny on the back? NO! 'CAUSE IT'S $50! *facepalms*

Uh, no. I'm not paying that much...

So that was my thoughts on the costumes I found. There was an overwhelming ONE actual ZIM "costume", and the rest were, surprise-surprise, GIR. I am not happy that Dib has been left out again. He NEVER gets his own merchandise and was a big part of the show? WHY HE NO GET A LAME, MILDLY CRAPPY "COSTUME" TOO? And no Gaz either for the girls?

 Wait, I just remembered my "trampy costumes" comment, maybe that's a blessing....

Anyway, I have a LOT more to say about lame/horrible Halloween Costumes, so stay tuned!

It Feeds On Noodles Fanscript (HAPPY BIRTHDAY JHONEN VASQUEZ!)

    Yup, today is the birthday of the fantastic Jhonen Vasquez, creator of INVADER ZIM. So, how to celebrate and honor the day? WITH THIS HERE FANSCRIPT OF AN EPIC-SOUNDING ZIM EPISODE CONCEPT, OF COURSE!

 Here we go! I will have something at the end.
*Insert "I don't own ZIM" disclaimer here, blah blah blah*

                                                           IT FEEDS ON NOODLES

 SCRIPT BY LOVEABLE FREAK

                                 

SCENE: INT. ZIM'S BASE, KITCHEN, NIGHT

(An impatient ZIM is seen sitting at the table, fiddling with a spoon, as GIR hacks away at A WHITE THING ON THE COUNTER. The camera is slowly zooming down on them from above)

(Camera switches from overhead to facing them)

  ZIM

(DROPS SPOON, SCREAMING) GIR! WOULD YOU HURRY UP!? (ANGRY, BUT NOT SCREAMING) My belly is rumbling... (ZIM HEARS RUMBLING, SHOUTS) SILENCE! OBEY ZIM!

 (GIR quits hacking the thing, picks it up, carries it to the table and presents his FANTASTICALLY HORRIBLE LUMP OF SOAP to ZIM) 

GIR

(PROUD) I MADE A PIGGY!

(ZIM stares at the "pig", ZIM's eye twitches. As ZIM prepares to tell GIR off, the doorbell rings. GIR drops the piggy, which in-turn becomes soapy mush, puts on the DOGGIE SUIT, and flies off-screen)

(GIR bursts back on-screen after his brief absence, revealing he got CHINESE TAKEOUT)

 (CONTINUOUS: GIR struggles with opening chopsticks as ZIM yells.)

ZIM

GIR! How DARE you bring me... (disgusted) EARTH food for supper! Are you conspiring...

(GIR trimphantly gets the chopsticks open, but they fly off screen)

GIR

(PLEASED) I GOT IT!

(Camera turns to see ZIM has the chopsticks lodged in his forehead. ZIM, obviously, is HOWLING IN PAIN)

(ZIM runs around screaming things at GIR, arms flailing around, then he runs into the table, his head flat on the top of the table, and his screams finally abruptly stop.)

(ZIM gets up, sighing grogily, but something is different. He now has two "pricks" on his forehead and two chopsticks protruding from his top teeth)

GIR

(Gasps) You got fangs......

(GIR gets ZIM a mirrior, ZIM stares at his reflection intently, as he absent-mindedly bites a take-out box and slurps noodles)

ZIM

Hmm... I appear to have become a vampire. Strange, ZIM is not hungry for blo...

(ZIM realizes his actions and freaks out, throwing the box across the room and freaks out)

 ZIM

(Horrified) I HAVE BECOME A VAMPIRE FOR THE CHINESE FOOD! (terrrorfied) I.. I must fight it, or I will KILL myself with the (low) delichousness.

(ZIM stands there a beat, then attacks the food, mauling the food in such a gruesome manner it's surprising such violence could be achieved. Cut to GIR watching, mourning his dinner. ZIM rises from his meal, licks his "lips", puts on his wig and contacts, and adds a cheap vampire cape to the costume, he lifts his cape in front of his face dramatically, and laughs sinesterly)

SCENE: OUTSIDE, A CITY SIDEWALK, LATER THAT NIGHT

(DIB and GAZ are walking down the sidewalk (continueous), GAZ carrying a plastic bag)

DIB

 I can't believe Dad had us pick up dinner this late at night. Alone.

(GAZ looks at DIB and scoffs, then turns away. Out of nowhere, ZIM leaps into the scene and tackles GAZ, pining her to the sidewalk. DIB rushes to intervene, but ZIM shoves him to the ground)

(ZIM laughs, then salavates. He grabs GAZ'S TAKE-OUT BAG, stands up, and rips out a take-out box, and gruesomely devours the food in front of GAZ. Intercut between GAZ being splattered with food and DIB reaching out to his sister dramatically)

 DIB

(In Horror, Continuous) NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(ZIM finishes, licking his lips, then hisses at Dib. Then he leaps off-screen, stage right)

(DIB finally thinks to get up and runs to GAZ) GAZ! You okay?

 GAZ

(wiping her face, angry) Do I LOOK alright? (clutches her napkin furiously) He got food ALL OVER ME!

DIB

That alien! He must have turned into a vampire!

GAZ

He's not a vampire, he's a moron, Dib....

DIB

(chuckles) Gaz, Gaz, Gaz. I'm a paranormal expert. I think I know a vampire when I see one.

GAZ

You're not an expert, you're also a moron....

(DIB ignores GAZ, reaches into his jacket and pulls out a wooden stake, then, for the sake of cool, puts on sunglasses. He grips his stake, then poses dramatically. His eye twicthes, and he drops stake)

DIB

Ow. Splinter.

(DIB puts on glove, grabs his stake again, then runs after ZIM, screaming like a maniac)

CUT TO A RESTERAUNT CALLED CHOPSTICKY'S

SCENE: INT. CHOPSTICKY'S, CONT. NIGHT

(ZIM bursts into the resteraunt, no one takes notice, he walks up to SOME TEENAGR WITH STUFF IN HIS EAR AT THE COUNTER)

ZIM

(LOW VOICE) Hello, human. I require ALL your deelishous.... (NORMAL ZIM-SPEAK) I MEAN REVOLTING! SICK... (Back to Low Voice that's becoming scary) Food......

STUFFED -EAR TEEN

(drawn out) You got flu?

ZIM

(Back to his normal voice, angry) NO! I WANT FOOD!

STUFFED-EAR TEEN

Kung-Fu?

ZIM

PATHETIC NO-LISTENING ZIT-CREATURE! (Enunciates) I. WANT. FOOD.

STUFFED_EAR TEEN

Water...

(ZIM growls in frustration and fury, and leaps over the counter, through the service window, out of sight. Food flies out everywhere, pan to the left, as the chefs flee through the door, but one collapses in the doorway, his hand running down the door leaving a soy sauce trail)

(DIB noncholantly walks into the resteraunt, up to STUFFED-EAR TEEN)

DIB

Hey, have you seen...

(A half-eaten eggroll hits STUFFED-EAR TEEN in the back of the head. He falls over, writhing)

STUFFED-EAR TEEN

I'M HIT!

(ZIM looks out the window, grins evilly, licks his lips, but steam is seen coming out. He winces and growls. DIB notices and leaps for ZIM. ZIM dodges and and lunges at DIB)

(ZIM pins DIB down, as DIB tries to stake ZIM. ZIM bites DIB's hand with the stake, and DIB cries out in pain, letting go of the stake, letting it roll away)

ZIM

(Whispers) Help.... me....

(DIB uses this to kick ZIM off him. He shoves a service cart at ZIM, pinning him to the wall, DIB jumps on top the cart)

ZIM

Dib! I will be destroyed by this human food.

DIB

Good!

ZIM

But.... But.... (gets an idea) If I'm killed, how will you prove I'm an alien?

(DIB ponders this question, sighs, and yanks the chopsticks out of ZIM's mouth)

(ZIM screeches, then sighs contently, then shoves the cart away. ZIM rips off his cape and exits)

SCENE: INT. ZIM'S BASE: LIVING ROOM, STILL NIGHT

(ZIM enters the base, GIR stands in front of him)

GIR

(DUTY MODE) Master! Do you require me to initiate Plan B? (pulls out stake)

ZIM

(content) No, GIR. No. 

(GIR snaps out of Duty Mode, and gives ZIM a *Lick-Stick)

*Note: I think that's the term for ZIM's "Fun Dip" Stuff is called

ZIM

It's ALL over.

(ZIM eats Lick-Stick)

CUT TO SCENE: DIB'S BATHROOM, YUP, IT'S STILL NIGHT

(DIB rumages through medicine cabinet)

GAZ: (off-screen) DIB! FOOD!

(DIB closes the cabinet, he looks at the reflection on the mirror, and smiles evilly, revealing little chopstick fangs)

THE END?

 Well, there it is. Feedback, please.

 And Happy Birthday, Jhonen Vasquez. May you forever question sleep, you twisted, undisputed lord of awesome, you!  

Weekend Artwork #1: Alien Propaganda

  So I've been a-working on this for two weeks. I drew it, but had to color over it because the scanner wasn't picking up the color. So, here it is! For you to see:

 Yes, this a piece of ZIM fanart. This is TALLEST SPORK, he's from a flashback in the unfinished episode "The Trial". The funky words is the "Irken Alphabet". Supposeibly, from this thing I saw, it should read "I want you to join the Irken Elite". The Irken Elite are the elite soldiers who become the Invaders when needed. I'm not sure whether it's a voluntary thing (probably not), but whatever, it's a cool "propaganda poster".

 I used SPORK because I think the Invader stuff started with him, seeing as the TALLEST before him called the Empire the "Republic", then he called the "Empire". Oh well, that's just my theory. Besides, I've never drawn him before, so I just wanted to use him, so if I'm wrong, roll with it.

 Well, there you go, every weekend I'll be putting up a piece of artwork of mine. So enjoy, and if you want to post it, anyone who may find this, PLEASE ASK TO USE IT FIRST! That's all I ask.

ZIM-RELATED AWESOMENESS!

 Okay, so there's a page on Facebook called InvaderCON. It's the offical page for the convention they had devoted to all things INVADER ZIM. Anyway, they have this little contest going on. When they get a certain amount of likes on Facebook, someone can win an autograph from one of the voice actors from the show. Liking the page make you eligable. At certain levels, another autograph is given away.

 The list and more (probably the same) info is here.

 Here's the page, for those with Facebooks who are intrested and want to go for it. Click it! So that I......I mean, you can have a chance to score some sswwwweeeettttttttt autographs.

 Seriously, it's an awesome shot to get autographs from the cast of one of the best shows EVER! If you wanna go for it, GO FOR IT!

The Greatest Cartoon Episodes Never Completed/Made

  Ah, television. It's a fickle world. Someone's show could have the plug pulled at any moment. This can lead to some episodes never seeing the light of day on TV. Or even being completed. Luckily, sometimes reminants of these episodes still live on. And, thanks to the glory of the digital age, can be found on our good friend the Internet. So, here's a total of five episodes of two cartoons that have actual scripts and/or audio that would've been awesome to see, had they gotten to be completed.

 *Honorable mention goes to the unscripted INVADER ZIM episode ideas "Pants (When Pants Ruled)", for having pant-like aliens and the possibility of ZIM and Dib having a dance-off (that would've been epic), and "It Feeds On Noodles" (something that I wrote my little own script for, guessing what might've happened), for having ZIM become a Chinese Food-eating vampire. (Yes, I do think Vampire ZIM could take Edward Cullen down, just sayin'....)*

  Okay, here we go!

•   The Return of Keef (INVADER ZIM)

    Here's the story, Keef (ZIM's "best friend" from.... "Bestest Friend") returns, crazier and as obsessed with ZIM as ever. And he's also latched onto Dib as well, this time. When Keef learns *gasp* ZIM and Dib aren't friends, he sets out to MAKE them friends, much to their chagrin. This episode just sound so funny, and it has a scene where they try and convince Keef they've become friends (so he'll get happy and explode, long story) though some pathetic-sounding attempts.... and hugging! I would've enjoyed seeing them hug ('cause it's so hilliarious, since they must be hating every second of it) and what they have to say later is pretty funny). Paraphrased:

  Dib: You admitted you're an alien!
 ZIM: It was part of the act...
 Dib: I videotaped it!
ZIM: GAH! Is that hug on there as well?
(Dib freaks out and smashes the camera)

 Here's the audio with the script kindly added.

• Mopiness of Doom (Again, INVADER ZIM)

   The idea is that Dib gives up on his paranormal studies and dedicates himself to "REAL SCIENCE!" like his Dad. ZIM, at first, is happy, then becomes depressed with no one to challenge him, and goes into a sort of depression (and steals "GIR's couch"). Then GIR goes to get Dib to "fight his master again". I love how they have an odd dependency on each other in this episode. Oh, if only they didn't hate each other, they might've been friends. *snickers*

  Here's a reading that was done at InvaderCON. (With some now infamous puppets! Why, puppets, WHY!? *shudders at the horrors they've encouraged*)

• Day of Da Spookies (Yup, it's INVADER ZIM)

  The idea is that one of the other Irken (ZIM's species) Invaders, SKOODGE, reveals he lives in our hero's basement. Then ZIM desides to mess with Dib when he finds out he knows a little TOO much. So he, GIR, and Minimoose (ZIM's OTHER sidekick) go and impersonate ghosts in Dib's house. It gets pretty crazy. I like it because it's got some classic ZIM humor, a part with ZIM's imagining of Dib crying, and it's CRAZY!

   Here's the hillarious reading at InvaderCON.

• The Trial (Guess Which Show....)

  ZIM's put on trial by his leaders, THE ALMIGHTY TALLEST, for everything he's done in his life (appartently, ruining Operation Impending Doom I wasn't his first offence..). Meanwhile, GIR temperarily conquers Earth! This just sounds like and awesome special, and it would've been fun to see. For some reason, I want Jesse McCartney to voice a character from the episode named "Little Timmy", because it would be hilliarious, and I'm a Jesse fan and it'd connect him to ANOTHER thing I like. Probably would've never happened, but I can dream, can't I?

  There's no audio recorded, but I found the script here.

• Bye Bye Beavers (The Angry Beavers (What? Not ZIM?)

  I've come to like The Angry Beavers. It was... is a good show. There was a series finale that was written, but was never made because apparently it broke the rules they had at Nickelodeon about revealing the characters weren't real, etc., so it never happened. Boo! Am I the only one that finds it stupid that they had rules about that? I mean, I understand censorship rules for shows, but..... Um, I'm going on a tangent, aren't I? Let's reign it back in.....

 I like this episode because it's a unique idea for a finale. With the main characters going through what cartoon characters apparently go through after the shows cancelled, and going to "The Other Side". And I love the fact the characters start to refer to each other by their voice actor's name or some mixture. ("It's okay, Richie-Dag...." "Ya know what, Nicky-Norb?")

  I think this is the audio, but there's no script with it. It has a lot of laughing, so it must be a rough one or something.

 So that's all for now. If I find more, I'll post 'em.

Anyone Else Notice?

  So I was going retro and watching some episodes of The Angry Beavers today. Anyway, I started watching the episode "Moronathon Man" (AKA the episode Norb and the other animals become stupid and Dag is the only one who's unaffected, for those who've seen it), and I couldn't help but notice something.

 There was a slight similarity to an episode of INVADER ZIM.

 To clarify, it turns out that Daggett's the only one immune to the "Stupidity Potion" (no, really) in the pond water that everyone drank, and his body can produce the antidote through his burps (seriously). The scientists responsible for said potion in the first place then load up Dag in a gun and have him burp at everyone, thus curing them (well, mostly). Hooray! But HOW is this similar to ZIM, besides Daggett and ZIM having the same voice actor?

  Well, allow me to explain as I pull out my pointer and get my diagram. Wait, I don't own a diagram...... Well, just listen.

  In INVADER ZIM, there is an episode called "Lice", where all the children get, well, lice. And ZIM, the title character, is immune (due to being an alien). Eventually the people in-charge of dealing with the lice outbreak find out ZIM's skin destroys the lice, so he's.... wait for it... loaded into a gun and his liquefied skin is sprayed on everyone, killing the lice and the "Queen Louse" that caused them. Yeah...

  See the similarity? And both characters, again, are voiced by the same guy! Wait, I already said that? Oh well, Richard Horvitz (said guy) is awesome, so he can be mentioned repeatedly! Oh, and they both aired on the same network. The retroactive hilarity continues!

 I'd post links of the episodes in question, but I can't find "Moronathon Man" on YouTube. I can find "Lice" though, but it'd kinda be pointless to put it up if I don't have the other to compare it to. So just..... whatever... look for it yourself! (Netflix is where I found Angry Beavers..).

  All in all, it's a weird coincidence. I heard that the ZIM example was a homage to Aliens, but I'm not sure about the Beavers one. But it's funny that almost three years after one episode of a show, another show does an episode with something similar....

(And on an unrelated note, yes, I spell "ZIM" and INVADER ZIM with all caps. That's how I roll...)