Sunday, July 29, 2012

The Freak Reviews: Sherlock Holmes (2009 movie)

  Yes, at long last, I'm reviewing Sherlock Holmes, as promised. I love this movie, I really do. One of my favorites. I consider this to be my first Sherlock. Well, technically I saw a movie in-class in eighth grade, but I wasn't blown away. I don't even remember what it was called. All I remember is that it involved a woman and there were music boxes. That's it. Maybe someone with better Sherlock knowledge than I can help me out. So, the 2009 movie was the first Sherlock that got me into Sherlock Holmes.

  But enough babbling, let's get to the review!

  So, this movie is about Holmes and Watson trying to stop Lord Blackwood from essentially taking over England. Along the way, they get assistance from Irene Adler, Holmes tries to meddle with Watson's relationship with Mary Morstan, Professor Moriarty makes a few cameos, and we get forshadowing for the next movie.

  Alright, first of all, the leads. Jude Law is fantastic as Dr. Watson. He does brilliantly portraying him like the original from the stories. And Robert Downey Jr. does good as Holmes. While, yes, there are some flaws, he does great. And I love the dynamic between the two characters. You can almost tell they've known each other for a long time. Like you can tell Watson accepts Holmes the way he is, but at the same time he's not going to put up with everything. It's sort of like: "Yes, Holmes, I know you're brilliant. But I've stopped being in awe a long time ago. And quit killing Gladstone!" I think the movie summed it up nicely; that they're brothers, not in blood, but in bond.

  ...And I also enjoyed when Watson was trolling Holmes about Irene Adler. ("You're not her type, she prefers ginger dwarves!")

  Speaking of Adler, I prefer this Irene to the Irene Adler in Sherlock. She;s pretty awesome. TV Tropes did mention she's a tad "flanderized" (exaggerated) into this femme fatale thief, and I do admit, it's a little true, but I don't think that's too negative a portrayal. And at least she's not a dominatrix.

   But I will admit, re-watching the movie, I can see some flaws with her character. Like I'm not too pleased with the implication Irene's been married to multiple men. On one hand, yay, possible acknowledgement to the fact she got married (to man named Godfrey Norton, AKA not Sherlock Holmes) in "A Scandal in Bohemia". But on the other hand, I don't like her doing that. And, yes, I would love to see a recent adaptation that doesn't have Irene Adler ans Holmes's love interest. But, I do admit, I like the "Batman/Catwoman"-eske dynamic the two have here.

  ...And my thought when she ran out at started shooting Blackwood's goons as Holmes and Watson were planning was: "Alright, let's do this! LEEROY JENKINS! IRENE ADLER!"

  Lord Blackwood is a decent villain. I have to admit it. He's no Moriarty, but he is admittedly fairly brilliant. Fun fact: the introduction to my copy of The Complete Sherlock Holmes: Vol. II brings up the name of a rival magazine (to the one that published the original Holmes stories, no doubt) was called Blackwood's. Hmm... Cleverness on Ritchie and Co.'s part, or just a coincidence?

  Okay, as for Lestrade. I think he's alright. I don't really have much of an opinion on him, honestly. I admit, I prefer Rupert Graves's Lestrade. But, I do love how the movie's Lestrade (and some of the other cops) are still loyal to Holmes. Even if Holmes mocks Lestrade... a lot. Seriously, he's like Anderson to Cumberbatch's Sherlock. I can just picture it:

  Holmes : Don't move, don't speak, don't breathe, I'm trying to think. Lestrade, face the other way, you're putting me off.
 Lestrade: What, my face is?
  Anyway, re-watching the movie having read the stories has led to much squeeing from me, since now I understand the references. *insert obligatory Captain America joke here* Like I'm positive the statement Holmes would've made an excellent criminal, and the "Crime is common, logic is rare" are from the canon. And shooting V.R. into the wall. The watch deduction. And, of course, "worth the wounds."

  But, knowing the canon's causes me some problems, too. So, this Holmes had never met Mary before, and her parents are supposedly alive. So, does this mean The Sign of Four didn't happen? Then how did Mary and Watson meet here? Did Four happen (albeit differently) but Holmes just sent Watson to handle it (I mean, Watson does show a fair amount of deductive skill here), saying something like:
"Oh, this case seems uninteresting. You handle it. The case of Jabez Wilson, on the other hand... *chuckle* Red-Headed League..."
   But, if not, what other cases have/haven't happened? And, what's this "Irene outwitted Sherlock twice" business? She only showed up once in the original. When'd she beat him a second time? And how many times have Adler and Holmes crossed paths if she says the hotel has "their old room"? Andandand...

  I DEMAND AN EXPANDED UNIVERSE FOR THIS, RITCHIE! Ugh. Knowing and caring about the canon is making my head hurt. Make it stop...

  Anyway, Hans Zimmer's music in this movie is awesome. It complements this movie beautifully. And this, kiddies, is why Zimmer's one of my favorite movie composers. Here's one of my favorites: "Panic, Sheer Bloody Panic".

  And I love the "Holmes-O-Vision". It's always cool to see inside Holmes's head. And I have to give this adaption credit for weaponizing Holmes's deductive skills long before BBC's Sherlock did in "A Scandal in Belgravia".

  Alright, some last minute thoughts:

  -My favorite scenes are: The Boxing Match (I love the song "The Rocky Road to Dublin"), The Dinner Scene (since it showcased Holmes's skills brilliantly, and the scene with the gypsy fortuneteller always cracks me up. ("What of the warts?... Are they EXTENSIVE!?")

  -Lord Coward has the worst name ever. No wonder he sided with Blackwood...

  -I kind of got a little overjoyed when Irene said olives were Holmes's favorite. Because they're my favorite, too, and the more I have in common with various Sherlocks, the more geeky joy I get.

 -The last time I watched this, I noticed this bit of dialogue... (paraphrased)
Watson: I'd only go to the country with my wife!
Holmes: Well, if we must...
   Oh, Downeylock...

 -"Suicide's not in his repertoire". FORESHADOWING!

 -Everyone wears fantastic hats in these movies. I want them all. Just sayin'...

  And finally...

  ...The joke had to be made. I regret nothing...

  Well, that's my review. Next time: a proper review of Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows! Play me out, The Dubliners!


Tuesday, July 24, 2012

"The Reichenbach Fall" "Theories"

  It was the cry of "MY FEELS!" heard 'round The Internet. Thousands of Sherlock fangirls sobbed as Sherlock supposedly took his life. Then sobbed more when John was so sad. Then, lo and behold, Sherlock did live! But it left a burning question...

 This version isn't exactly the easiest to come up with an excuse for Sherlock's survival. I mean, there's no "We didn't really see the fall" or "They never found the body". And I've read some theories, such as: "The rubber ball plays a role!" And, "The body was someone working for Moriarty who traumatized the little girl!" But, this post isn't about serious theories.

...It's about insane, entertaining. humorous ones using absurd logic and shout-outs! :D
 So, to get them out of my system, here are some of my more..."creative" theories, a la my old "Random Guesses" posts...
   Okay, you can partially blame Disney for this. In the movie Tangled, Rapunzel's hair is magic and when she sings she can heal people when they touch it. But also DreamWorks had something kinda similar in Madagascar 3, only it didn't involve magic hair. IT IS A SIGN!

-Captain Jack Harkness
  Now, I could make a "Sherlock's a Time Lord" guess, but come on! I'm sure someone's already thrown that out there. So instead, let's go with Jack! I mean, he is immortal, after all. At first, I was thinking "blood transfusion when Sherlock was little, and the magic immortal Captain Jack blood kicked in for one-time use after the fall." But, reading Captain Jack's entry on the Doctor Who Wikia, it says that he was at one time shown to be able to transfer a little of his life force to others so they could recover. So, of course, Sherlock had Molly track down Harkness and they got him to give post-fall Sherlock a little life force. And, of course, much flirting ensued. The End.
-Respawn, (LOL)
  Sherlock simply respawned a la Halo. Think about it, at least in Multiplayer on Halo 3, when someone dies, they leave a body while they respawn elsewhere. Thus, explaining how there could be two bodies. Also, whenever you fall off something ("committing suicide"), it takes you a LONG time to get back. Sherlock "committed suicide", so it took him a while to come back. When you think about it, this kinda makes sense.
  Sherlock used a Life Model Decoy. 'Nuff said, True Believers.

-The Power of Love
  ...Well we can't rule it out! The power of love is a curious thing....

 ...and finally...

  Sherlock OBVIOUSLY made his skull into a Horcrux. That way, when he fell off the building, part of his soul would be safe. That was just Sherlock's soul we saw. The plot of Series 3's premiere (besides "The Empty House") will be forcibly taking Moran's blood (fulfilling the "blood of my enemy" part of the resurrection ceremony). Then, after all's said and done, Sherlock will de-Horcrux the skull (it's possible). And they all lived happily ever after until something terrible happened.

 Well, that's all I got. Anyone got anything "better"?

Monday, July 23, 2012

Do You Have The Time To Listen To Me Whine?: Netflix Has Made Me Irritated

  Okay, I really don't ask for much in life. All I really want to do is be able to re-watch series two of  Sherlock for some reviews I swear I'm going to do, and watch some movies I have little interest in besides the fact they star people I like in them. But nooooo, Netflix Instant View won't let me! GAH!

  I mean, they haven't updated Sherlock with the new series, and they don't have any of the three movies I'm trying to watch (War Horse, Star Trek, and GI Joe: Rise of Cobra). Seriously, look up any of those movies I listed on Netflix, they don't have them. It's especially egregious because I know they had at least Star Trek and GI Joe on there before. Granted, I wasn't interested in either at the time, but still, what gives?

  The Sherlock thing's not so bad for me. I mean, I'm willing to spend money to own copies of series one and two. But the others? I don't know anywhere where I can rent them (Redbox?) But I don't want to pay to watch those three movies only once at the most. It's a tad irritating.

  I mean, I want to do is watch Sherlock and Loki fighting in World War I, The Ninth Doctor be a hammy villain in Cobra, and watch a movie to understand what's going on in another movie I want to watch for superficial reasons! Is that so wrong?

  So, does anyone have any explanation for why they don't have these movies? Please?

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Happy (Late) Birthday Benedict Cumberbatch

 Okay, I KNOW I should've written this YESTERDAY, but I've had writer's block. (>:( Bad Freak! That's no excuse! You call yourself a Cumberbatch fan? *smacks self*) But better late then never, right?
Benedict Timothy Carlton Cumberbatch (Born July 18th, 1976)

  Yes, yesterday, July 18th, was Benedict Cumberbatch's birthday. I am a big fan of him, as is probably apparent (he is one of the only three people (excluding myself) to have their own label for my blog). And now, time for some gushing.

   I adore this man. He is brilliant in his role as Sherlock Holmes in BBC's Sherlock. And I'm really glad he's getting more recognition in Hollywood. He's part of the reason I want to see The Hobbit (BESIDES Martin Freeman and childhood memories). I want to see Star Trek (a franchise I have little interest in) because he's in the sequel. Heck, I'm even going to watch War Horse (not my typical choice of movie) since he's in that, too (along with Tom Hiddleston, but I digress). Guess you could say he's inadvertently broadening my horizons for movie-viewing. ;)

   But it's not just the roles he's played that make me adore him so. Everything I've read about him and the pictures and videos I've seen if him make me think he's a wonderful person. I haven't heard a negative thing about him yet. He seems like he's very sweet guy. He can be pretty funny, and I've heard he's very intelligent, as well. Plus, he's modest. He's the type of person I want to know. That I want to be friends with.

  Anyway, happy (late) birthday, Mr. Cumberbatch. If for some reason, you're reading this (and even if you're not) I sincerely hope you had a fantastic birthday, sir. <3

  :) That is all.

Saturday, July 14, 2012

KH3D Trailer...IN ENGLISH!!!!

 Yay! This month, North American, Australian, and European KH Fans get their editions of the highly-anticipated Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance. (31st, 26th, and 20th, respectively). Anyway, I looked up the English trailer, and here it is!

 I'm so excited. Though I can kind of see how English dubs change things. On one hand, I like how they changed the "Key to everyone's smiles" to something like "happiness", it's less "narmy". On the other hand, I liked Sorcerer!Mickey's original line about lending strength to Riku and Riku saying he'll be waiting as opposed to the English version about Mickey wanting to be part of a team and Riku saying he will. The old one... just gave me more the warm fuzzies than the new one. But, it could be worse. The dubbing could've been by... 4KIDS!!! *DUN DUN DUN*

  But, I'm still excited. This is going to be AWESOME! Anyone else counting the 358/2 many days in anticipation?

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Yet Even More of The Freak's Thoughts on Elementary

  Yep, I'm back! From outer space. Oh, it feels fantastic to have The Internet back. I've been lost without my Blogger. *happy sigh* It's good to be back.

  Well, enough of that, back to business. So the official trailer for CBS's Elementary was released during what I'm going to refer to as "The Dark Time" where I was cut off from The Internet. Anywho, as I've done before, twice, I'll be stating my thoughts on this based off what I've seen. I think I might get a little bit more nitpicky about this, so be forewarned.

  -Okay, first of all, we see a bottle of Xanax it the opening clips of the trailer. Is... is this what Sherlock was sent to rehab for? *facepalm* Not cocaine? OH COME ON! At least let him get sent there for his canonical drug of choice! Modern or not, at least they'd admit that little fact people who don't/didn't read the original books don't know! (Heck, before reading the books, I didn't know they even had cocaine in the 19th century, or injected it...) *sigh*

 -I'm trying NOT to jump to conclusions about the... erm... woman exiting Sherlock's building. I mean, if it's an apartment (I don't know whether this is this is where the show's 221B Baker Street is or not, since this is set in New York *eyeroll*), she COULD live in another building. But my first thoughts were "She's leaving Sherlock's, isn't she!?" If that IS the case, allow me to go on a minor rant.


  NO! Nononononononononono! NOOOOOO! Heck no! NO! SHERLOCK DOESN'T HIRE... GAH! Sherlock Holmes is not that sort of guy! He's not the type to... do that. He has no time for romance, let alone that, he has stuff to deduce, dang it! SO DON'T IMPLY THAT! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT'S... At least Cumberbatch's Sherlock (or "Cumberlock", as I sometimes call him), despite the modern setting and having the whole episode with "modern" Irene Adler (but I'm saving my thoughts on her characterization for my "A Scandal of Belgravia" review), wasn't interested at all in that sort of  thing. And don't get me started on The Canon. He's just not wired that way!

*huff, huff*

  But, again, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions and overreacting. Again, maybe she just lives in the same building. Or maybe she's from some sort of version of The Baker Street Irregulars. Or maybe he didn't do what I thought he was doing and I should be ashamed for thinking otherwise and go stand in the corner and think about what I've done. Or maybe I'm giving the show too much credit and my initial instincts were right. Time will tell.

 Moving on...

  -Minor thought on the tattoos (I still hope those are Jonny Lee Miller's, by the way. I don't know, is he in anything else that requires him to be shirtless in any scene?), I re-read "The Red-Headed League", and there was a throwaway line about him knowing quite a bit about tattoos (even writing something on the subject, I believe). Perhaps he got them as a sort of research, and just never bothered to remove them because he had better things to do then laser tattoo removal? Or maybe I'm giving the people too much credit again. It was just a thought.

 - I admit, "Millerlock's" blunt, "Look at this place. Yuck! I can't wait for you to tidy it..." did amuse me a little. Makes me think a bit of "Cumberlock" (Series Three starts production next year, Freak. Production starts next year...).

 -I like the idea of Sherlock breaking out of his rehab facility. That makes me feel a little better about this whole "he's fresh out of rehab thing". And at least he admits he gets bored often.

 -So, Joan Watson was a doctor (surgeon, in fact). Maybe not be "ex-army doctor", like I hoped, but it's close, I guess.

 -I didn't notice the "Scotland Yard" comment in my previous "review", but I do feel better knowing his time as a consulting detective helping them exists somewhere in this universe. And it again raises the question of whether Sherlock lives in a New York version of the iconic 221B Baker Street, or if the writers threw that out the window, laughing maniacally, and just decided to either give him a new address or ignore the detail altogether. And, on the same train of thought, does Watson still live with Sherlock in this work? Or does she have her own place? I'm not sure.

 -So, Gregson IS in this show! And he got promoted to Captain and moved to the States as well! I now have a little more faith in this show. I mean, they know who Gregson is, and I don't think he gets much use in the adaptions as Lestrade does. So perhaps these people DO speak canon! And maybe Lestrade and Mycroft exist/will pop up. I kind of wonder what they're doing as this show goes on. I like to think they've banded together and are having their own adventures. THAT would make an interesting spin-off, actually. If the show gets that popular, that is.

 -The dynamic of Joan and Holmes looks like it's going to be interesting at least. Will it be as good as the relationships and chemistry of "Cumberlock" and John (I haven't come up with nicknames to distinguish The Watsons yet, so I'm just going with how they're commonly referred) or "Downeylock" and Watson? I don't know.

 -Okay, minor nitpick. So, Joan says she "has the stomach" for Sherlock's work and we established that she was, in fact, a surgeon. And yet when we see the body in the safe room, she gasps and leaves the room. Okay, I figure suddenly seeing a dead body (even if you're told there's to be one) could be rather shocking in real life. And it's easier to say you're ready to see something before you actually see it (like the violence in The Hunger Games movie). However, the body is just a woman with a head wound, surrounded by blood. I'm sure, as a surgeon, she'd have theoretically seen much worse. Like someone's insides, for instance. Or maybe someone who's had a horrific accident. I don't know how long it's been since she was a surgeon, but I would think that a still relatively intact corpse would not be "leave the room"  worthy. But, as I said before, I'm probably being nitpicky.

 -Still not entirely sold on Joan yet. What can I say? Martin Freeman and Jude Law have set some high standards. Some elements about her seem.... alright... but... I'd have to see the show to get a better opinion.

 -"Millerlock", however, does seem to be looking better and better the more I see him. Again, I think he might at least be a decent Sherlock. IT would be sad if he was decent in a not-so-good show, but, still.

  Minor tangent, but I think the various Sherlocks are like The Doctors of Doctor Who: all a tad different, but all the same person, and everyone will have their favorites. Take the two modern TV versions. "Cumberlock" is like David Tennant's Tenth Doctor, in that he has a pretty big fanbase (and a lot of fangirls), and is pretty well-received. And, like when Tennant left (from what I read), the day Cumberbatch announces he won't be playing Sherlock anymore (which hopefully won't be for a while), there will be much sadness and sobbing (oh, Tumblr and Pintest'd be a wreck). While "Millerlock" is Matt Smith's Eleventh so far. He has a tough and rather popular act to follow, and I think I read even he was one the people weren't sure about. But, maybe like Eleven, people will warm up to him and get popular in his own way. Okay, I'm done rambling now.

-It's still looking a bit like it's generic detective show cases with Sherlock. Shame. I was hoping they wouldn't do that. But maybe I'm wrong. Still, I've never heard of any "Amy" in the stories I've read so far.

-Not sure of how I feel about the "Google" line. It's funny, but I'm not sure if I like Sherlock saying it. It is sort of subversion of what we would expect. And I kind of liked in "The Blind Banker" where he claimed he got info from the secretary. But then again, he later admitted he lied. Maybe he follows the line with: "No, just kidding!" and rattles off a lot of details. I know, Sherlock's not infallible, but still...

  ...And on a more melodramatic note, Sherlock supposedly Googling later made me think of "Cumberlock's" his call to John where he claims he's a fake and pretends to commit suicide in RIECHENBACH! *DUN DUN DUN* *thunderclap* (Yes, this is how I will always type it from now on.)


 Overall, I'm still not completely sold on it yet. But, I do think it's looking a little bit better then it did before. Who knows? Maybe it's going to exceed my expectations. And, if it's terrible, maybe with time, it will silently be forgotten (which I doubt, what with the hate I've seen for it already). Dang, this post was longer than the other "Thoughts" posts. So, anyone else care to weigh in?