Showing posts with label MST. Show all posts
Showing posts with label MST. Show all posts

Thursday, January 17, 2013

MST #2: Doctor Huh?


  Hey, you know what? I feel like finally MSTing something again! This is another one of Sue Mary's works (we all remember "her", right?) But this time, she takes into the world of Doctor Who... I think... It's madness. (Madness? THIS! IS! TROLLFIC!)

  Well, in the words of Eleven, Geronimo!

(EDIT: I Fixed this because I was having issues with the font color, it should be all good now! :D)

Doktor Hoo is a pretty cool dude eh doesnt afraid of anything. But wat wud happen if an evil one? Or Supahman was dere? That was the inpiration for this story!

...Well, I'm sure this will be a well-written piece of literary masterpiece...
Doctor Huh?
A Originial an Offisial Fanfict by Soo Maree
 
...Or not...
 
City Town, Plaent Earf, ats place da Daily Bungle noos was getting made with peoples like Lowes Layne and Cark Kentle.
 
I visited City Town, Plaent Earf once! It was nothing like the brochure.
 
“SOPT TEH PRESSES!” Goonzo elled to lowd sonds. “Sum body is rubbing the bank!”

...Um... o-kay... so some weirdo's rubbing the bank... must be a slow news day. Does the guy think he's going to get a genie?

Also, WHO THE HECK IS "GOONZO"? Is that like Gonzo from The Muppets? Do they all work for a muppet?

...That would be awesome.
 
Chlark new wat he had 2 do so he jumped ot the winnow and landed at fone booth. He go inot the fone booth and taked off all his cloths. Leetle did anyone no Clark Kempt was aslo… SUPAHMAN!

Ohmygosh my mind is totally blown! I mean, who ever thought the guy who looks just like Superman in glasses was actually Superman? Next you're going to tell me Jim from IT and Richard Brook on Sherlock are both Moriarty. Or that Bruce Wayne is Batman or something crazy like that...
 
Bu when Clark as fooly nakd some1 sayd “WAT ARE U DOIN IN MY HOSE!?!”
 
...Wait, I thought Superman wore his suit under his clothes...

 ...And what is he doing in a someone's hose? ...I'm disturbed to know about your sick personal life, Supes...
 
A man of british and so much bowtie was stare at hims.
 
GREATEST. ELEVENTH DOCTOR DESCRIPTION. EVAH!
 
 Eh had a majik scroodiver that was mad of siense.
 
GREATEST. SONIC SCREWDRIVER DESCRIPTION. EVAH!
 
 “I am tryin to chanje to supa mode why U here?” Supes asked bakk. “I am DOCTOR HOO I life here in da Fone Booth its call TURDIS and go on space ventures.”
 
Ahem... there are so many things wrong with this.
  1.  He's just "The Doctor".
  2. Technically, it's a Police Box, and
  3. It's spelled "TARDIS".

 ...Carry on.

Also:


“Well I haft o stop a bnak rubrery.” Auperman titened his pecs to show he was s a strung heero. “NO! U will be my companon and we wiil fite my evil twin Doctor Huh?!”

I like how The Doctor's more or less kidnapping him. But if I've learned anything from The Nostalgia Critic, it's that if he calls it an adoption, it's okay! :D

 Supearamn didant like this develtement and pressed body against the fone booth winnow to so pepole cold see him and no he was in danger “HEY U KIDDIES HELP ME IM BEEN KIDNAPPED!”

Yes, oh Man of Steel! Ask the small children to help you. They will surely be assets...

...

...Wait...


Supes yelled to sum kiddies but Supeaman was still covered in naked so teh kiddies only saw his huge ‘kelp bunny’ and balls so they were tramartized and scared for life an experimented wif all the otters.

...

Uhh...

...

...I have no proper way to react to this...
 
Da TARTIS got a big rosacea unner neath that blowed up to make it floo up to hier and it wass in spaece Doctor Who sat at Superman “Wach out there isp ace traffic.” 

 "But Doctor, couldn't we just go through the time stream to a time where space traffic isn't so bad? This is a time machine, right?"

 "No, this is ace traffic. Completely... Different. You can't avoid it. It's a fixed point. Plus, it's so... acey-wacey..."

And they was caut in a traffik jum. The Normanty flied if by and hit space fone booth so Doktor Hoo got angried “Hey stope doin that Mormondy!!!!!i13”

What the HECK is a "Normanty"? Or "Mormondy"? Whatever... 
“Its not my falt dat my game endin is bad I am not sorree!” Commamary Shepared grubeed and floo off but the exhast made TURDIS span sidewise and not get no were.

Oh, it's from thse Mass Effect game I've never played. With that ending I keep hearing about. Since I have little knowledge of the series besides that, I'm just going to nod and laugh politely...
 “OH no I AM have a sickly!” Supemon blowed up chunks all over DOKOTR WHO was really mad at the dirty of his place. 

  Man, Digimon have gotten weird since I've watched it...

“Stop burfing up my playse u jerk!IU!IO” Superman did not sorry at Docta becos he was relay made n’ ungry at the supanap. 

"I barf in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries."

 "Is there someone else I can adventure with?"

 "No. Now go away or I shall spray you a second time..."
 
Bajck on Earth the bank rub was goin down supper bad.

"I keep rubbing this inanimate object, but nothing's happening! I WANT MY DANG GENIE!"
“Gife me alls da money or ill shot yuo all up!2o” 

  THREATENING THE GENIE WITH VIOLENCE WILL NOT COMPEL IT TO COME TO YOU!

Tihs was no orindary rubber it was… DOCTOR HUH!!!!

What a twist!
“OK OK heers all are monee just dot kill us weer good dudes.” The bak manajerk did so much of handing the mones. “I will rub all the banks and becos I HAVE ROSACEAS!!! All the pepole gapped at his huge rosaceas reddy to fire an kill.

What kind of freaky skin condition do you have? Is it a Time Lord thing?
None cold stop Doktor Huh or cold they….?

No. No they can't. Maybe someone warmer, though... 
Meenwhile at the same time Doktor HOO an Spuman were still in spase lookin for Doctor Huh no noin that hes rubbing the banks!

Well, that would probably be awkward for The Doctor, knowing he's related to a weirdo who rubs banks..
 “He is cloose now.” But sum robots that was like trasscans but not amd had plujer wepons attacked.

Oh, no. Tell me they're not...
Superman codant used his powers becos he was nekked an didant want pepole to see him like that.

Still? Eleven, what is it with you and not properly clothing people when you go on your first TARDIS adventures together?
“Oh no thoss robots!” Doktor used his majerk crewdriver to make a spase helmut to go to out and combat wif dem.

 Hey, it's that Sonic Screwdriver power we've never seen! And yet, it still can't do wood... 
The robost fired bad stuff at Doctor Hoon but he had a sheelds to they refelcted back to kill a few. “EXSANGUINATE!!!IO1~~1111”

NO! It is... The Daleks! (And they aren't robots. They're more like aliens in robot suits/alien cyborg thingies... (that's putting it scientifically))
 Sai the robots and they fried rosaceas at Doktor Woos place were Superman was. A big rosacea hittled him rite in da face and it mades Supes supah angory.

"NO!! MY BEAUTIFUL FACE HAS A SKIN CONDITION! YOU WILL PAY!!!" (I apologize to anyone with rosacea, I mean no offence, BTW)

“All rite its time for wat I lik to call: DA KRYPTONIAN SLUSHY!11io!” Auper floo in thru space and sarted to kill them but taking the robots an put ebtween his pekkz to skwish them all hard till they was like slussy.

Superman just crushed some Daleks in between his pecks.

Superman just crushed some Daleks in between his pecks.

...Wrap your head around that.

Doctor Who was ver impressed at powerful move. “Now dat was a REEL FITE. Yur more powaful than I thotted, Supermens.” Doktor What congratulationed with British integrity.

"...congratulationed with British integrity." That is the greatest phrase in this whole fic.
“ALLER TI FOWND DOKTOR HUH!” Sayd the TARDIS space commuter. “HE IS RUBBING THE BANK!!iuo1”

OHMYGOSHWHATATWISTIHADNOIDEA!

 Supes and Doktah gapsed, the bank was it the hole time?

Yes, now run before it tags you! (Lame joke is lame) 
“Well don’t worry then we can just kill him qwick.”

Bu-but the Doctor doesn't like killing. Unless it's Daleks 'cause they're evil.

...

...Wait...

And the TADRIS killed Doktor Huh with a orbital strike to kill him.

Greatest Anti-Climatic Ending Ever!

“Thanks Dock, now we both win.” So Doktor Who and Supperman wents off to have lots of more coold adventares!

YAY! Remember kids: when someone kidnaps you, don't worry! They'll lead you on cool adventures in their spaceship!
...

Wait...
 
THE END FOR NOW
(mayebt more latter but ony if u revyoo guyz like rthis 1)

  Sadly, there probably won't be, for our dear Sue Mary got kicked off of fanfiction.net because of Critics United. (Long story short, they're kind of the "Stop Having Fun, Guys" of the site and led to the deletion of several fics that were written solely for fun/entertainment, including all of Sue Mary's and "her" alter ego Marissathewriter's work. Even though they clearly weren't serious. And yet, stories that are genuinely horrible still got to stay. While horribly hilarious ones got the boot. There is no justice on the interwebs...) Though you can still find some of "her" work on Tumblr.

  Anyway, this is, as usual, a terrible fic. A terribly hilarious one. Well, glad I finally finished this one. Now to continue my draft clearout...


Wednesday, May 16, 2012

1st MST: Sherlock Holmes Vs Jack The Ripper (100th Post)


   100 Posts. I did it. I've reached 100 posts. This is pretty big for me. So I said to myself, "Yo, Freak! Let's do something special!" And, well, I've been wanting to try and enter the world of fanfic MSTing. (For those unfamiliar with MSTing, it's when someone mocks a terrible work, first pioneered by the TV Show Mystery Science Theater 3000). So, for the 100th Post, I'm doing an MST of a fanfic!

 I will be MSTing something I know's a trollfic (meant to be bad), that I found through the website TV Tropes. Why? Because one, I had some good snark, and two, I sort of know one of the author's other personas (at least, I think we're Internet acquaintances), so I don't feel so guilty :).  This is "Sherlock Holmes Vs Jack The Ripper" by Sue Mary, and it's pretty much what the name implies, only wackier.

 I should probably have a disclaimer... Nah! The words that aren't my own are in blue...

  Well, no time to waste! Let's get started! ALLONS-Y!

---

Authrons Note: Thsi story is based of teh 3009 movee off SHerlock.

 I believe this puts another nail in that "The World Ends In 2012" conspiracy, if we have "3009" movies.

SHERLOOK HOMES VS JACK THE RAPER
Sherlook at that body. Sherlook at that body. Sherlook at that body. I work out!

sHERLOCK an Wasson were at three house solving criem.
First they would solve the crimes against grammar, then they would solve the mystery of who left the Caps Lock on!
Waton wad readin a paper of news an see a big artakle.

A paper of news. As opposed to a paper of fiction.
"Serhock, there is big bad news Jick Ripper has murdred again!" Sherlock standing up on him toes and grolwled at mirror.

 "Stupid mirror, I can't see my handsomeness if you keep thinking I'm as tall as Cumberlock!"

"THIS IS AN UNESEEPTABALE AKSHUN!" He pumped. "We must bring hiom to justace."
...Pumped?
An Waton agreed becuz on eof teh Ripper's victums was his WIFE!
 Mary died? :( Well, I'm sure RDJ!Lock can live with that, he doesn't have to share Watson anymore! (Sorry, couldn't resist... ;))
First tey went to da inner city for investiage witnessis.

 Um, Sherlock? You know I'd never question your methods, but wouldn't any witnesses to Jack the Ripper's murders most likely be... oh I don't know, BRUTALLY MURDERED!?
"I donnot no who he is but i seed him kill ones" Sherlock nodding an Whatson rited it all down.

Well, can't argue with that logic...

It wis hard of find more witness becuz killer was gud trail stopper.

EXACTLY! THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING!

Then they fond a guy. It was wereworlf name Jacob lol.
Oh...
Oh, no...
JACOB KEEP YO' FILTHY TWILIGHT GERMS AWAY FROM MY SHERLOCK!

 Jaco say "Followt me, I no were he living".

Well, that's convenient...

When da duges got there it was a hunted mansion!

But I thought they'd hunted the mansions into extinction!
"Im scare!" Watson crieded and poppied his pants.
Oh, it's just a haunted mansion, Watson! Suck it up, be a man, and get back in character! Be a good example for Joan Watson!

"Stay stong Wasteon, we must do for justice"

Sherlock knows what's up...

An Sherlock brokened door becuse nocking would alert THE CRIMINAL!"

...

...
Well, can't argue with that logic...

Serching in the masnon was like an episod of Skooby Doo but no moosteers or id they?

DUN DUN DUN!!!

At mansion summit was atik but Sherlock didn't see nothing. "Criminal am not nowhere" Whutson say "Gived up, SSherlock note ven u can solved this"
Oh, ye of little faith, Watson. The Canon Watson and the Sherlock fangirls are ashamed of you...

 But that ony sent him intro overdive!

Oh, snap!

 Jakob who went with tem saw a thing "I saw thing!"

NAW, RLY?

 When they go there it a box of trouble bcause a zombied Albert Einting camed out.
Somewhere a history buff is crying...

"Shertock, lets pump!" Waton plead but Sherlock shook "no"

Oh, ye of little faith. Martin Freeman's Watson is ashamed of you....

"We canort let this abnation of justaice not put to rest!" Battle was turlf.

Show, don't tell, author...

Alber first used a punch attak but Sherlock used BRANE BLAST to make it stop.

Thaaat's more like it!

Wheatson tried to run bu slip on a banama peel and fell so da audience laffed.
Andre Morell's Watson DEFINITELY is ashamed of you from what I've read...

"Return to dead or I wilt have to kill u!"
Oh, crap! Sherlock's bustin' out the Ye Olde Englishe! Things just got real!
Sherlucksperated Ablert's head and he hurt but a box went an hit him da bowls.

...Um... Okay... Yay, I guess?
Shertlock looked fro signs of the crush an see Watson had triped on a box that was so much flying to the very zombie Watson blush "Did I do that?" and da audience laffed again.
Nigel Bruce's Wats... No, that was the "stupid" Watson, so I guess he's not so offended...

 "Good jub!" Hacob said but he was seekritly angary.
ZOMG THIS COULDN'T POSSIBLY BE FORESHADOWING!
It was a lung day sso Sherlock said "Les go home an serch more torromow" An Watson agreed.

Yay! Nothing accomplished, boys! *thumbs up*

Meanwhil at ta masion Jacob said to his dark mastar "Tey defeats zombie Albert Eientin an gotted aways."
WHAT A TWIST! That TOTALLY wasn't foreshadowed or nuthin'...

 "Dont worry Jakob" say Jack the Ripper "I has present fro the heroes at there house!"

Aw, Jack got them a present! That is so nice of him! You know, Moriarty would nev...

...Oh, wait, it's a bad present. Oh.... Oh, okay! I get it, I-I get it now...
An they lauffed because Jacob is a bad guy seekritly workin for Jack the Riper because im on Teem Edwin!

Jacob is a villain  in Victorian London, secretly working for Jack The Ripper, just because the author's on Team Edward.
Jacob is a villain in Victorian London, secretly working for Jack The Ripper, just because the author's on Team Edward.

Wrap your mind around that.

When Sherock and Watson got home they was get out keys when da house shalked and den burst an a dinosaur that was more bigger than the whole everything was dere.
Yup, the historical buffs AND the zoology/paleontology buffs are definitely sobbing...
Dinosaur make roarl sounds an lunged at Waton but Sherlock punch away.
That defies all logic!
Do it again!
 "U THINIK U CAN EAT MY HOUSE AN FREND TRYANONOSAURS REKS!"
Sherlock Holmes Fact: Do not threaten a Sherlock's Watson, or he will straight up kill you, with extreme prejudice. (Or threaten to eat his friend Tryanonosaurs Reks, apparently...)

 Dinosaur that was Tryanosaruso Rex laffed and tired to eat him. Sherlocks hasd to the theink fast.  "What I do What I do" Watson sad "Eskuse me!" An it farted louder than sun which was sooooooo stonky.

*facepalm* Just when you thought she couldn't stray further from Jude Law!Watson's characterization...

...And all other, unmentioned Watsons are ashamed of him...
 Trex felled over an Shertlok see a sowrd which was Xcalibar an say "It only way to permantely defeat da Tranno forever for good and permanent" So he stabed it.

I think this scene defines the term "crazy awesome"...
"CURSES!" Jack scramed. "How I kill now?"

I DON'T KNOW! How you kill before?

 Jaco comfortated him with a friendly back massage.
Riiiiight. A "friendly" back massage. Totally not awkward. Well, he could do worse. Jack could be a newborn half-vampire, half-human hybrid...

"Thhanks Jaco, I neded that."

Is it sad that the villains have more bromance than the classic, timeless bromance does in the fic? Especially since this is about the Robert Downey Jr. Sherlock Holmes, with his jealousy issues?
But how wuld he get revenging?

How? HOW!? Tune in next week for the... No, wait. There's more...

Shertock an Waton wents to a hotel becuse house was dino destroyed.
Waaait a minute... Was Gladstone in there? NOOOOO! GLADSTONE! CURSE YOU, JACK! KILLING THE DOG'S SHERLOCK'S JOOOOOOB! *sobs*

But hotle had a seekrit spurise for them…

*sniffle* That's nice of them. Maybe it's a new dog...

 IT WAS JACK!

THAT'S NOT A GOOD SURPRISE!

"OH NO IS TERRORISTS!" Waatson cried an da audicene laffed.
Not sure whether to facepalm or laugh... So, I'm gonna do both...

 "So ew meets at last Jack Ripper" Sherock demandlings. "Hahahahahahahaa I will kell u!" Say Jack an Jkaob was ther 2.
To borrow the one of the shticks of a fellow blogger, Skepkitty, from The Half World for a second:

Kell

n. 1. A kiln.
1. A sort of pottage; kale. See Kale, 2.
1. The caul; that which covers or envelops as a caul; a net; a fold; a film.
I'll have him cut to the kell.
- Beau. & Fl.
2. The cocoon or chrysalis of an insect.

  So, Jack is gonna put Sherlock in a cocoon? Eh. I've heard of worse fates.

"NO WAY HOSE!" Screemed Sherlock.

Oh snap! Sherlock's breaking out the (bad) Spanglish! Things just got serious!

 It wad time for teh final conflict of god vs evel.

Did Sue Mary just refer to Sherlock as a god? That totally wouldn't inflate his ego...

Sherlok attacks first wif FFIST UPNCH!

As opposed to a foot punch...

But Jacob went weareolf and grabed him arm.

Oh snap! C'mon Watson, now's your chance to redeem yourself! Do it for Mary!

Watson hids underd a bead an say "AAAAAAAAAAAA" really really loud.

*headdesk* Oh, COME ON! The hound from "The Hound of the Baskervilles" was scarier than Jacob. Heck, the dog in "The Copper Beeches" was scarier than him, and you shot it's brains out (like a boss)!

Jack Ripper Ripped Sherloak face but he grined the teeth and did head butt to break Jack nose. Waton pooped sooo much him pants exlodd. "I am scare!" He sayd wile Sherkok an Jack were FIGHTING.

Sherlock, I don't know how to say this, but your Watson's defective. You need to trade him in for a new one...

"Gives upd Shelock I will Ripe you like all da others I kirlled!" Sherlock got infushun of powar and justace so say "NO!" And wif power of true justice he did lots of punch and kick and chop fast liek speed of fast to win the grate victory. "Dead!" Yell JACK an Jacom as Shertok throws them out of windowed.

...Thank you for clarifying, guys. I would've thought you survived the power of true justice.

Next Dayu Sherloo and Waqtons was big news for kill of Jack teh Ripper. "Good jub guys!" Say King an givesd them key to da city of Englond.

Well, the good news is the history buffs aren't crying anymore. The bad news is they've lost their faith in humanity and the will to live! :(

TEH END

Yay!

I werked like 3 dayz on this stor so plaze give me good revioows this tiem guys.

You poor thing. Well, in that case... No. No I will not.

---

 So, there you go! My first MST! It's a little harder than I thought, but I'm willing to try again. So, what did you guys think?

 I now return you to your regularly scheduled life...