I Had A Surprising(ly Awesome) Revelation Today...

  So, I was watching part of this movie toady, and one of the people in it was Richard Harris. The name sounded familiar to me, so I went to my good ol' friend Google to look up who it was. Turns out I did know him from somewhere. He played Dumbledore in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone and Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (he was replaced in the other movies after his death in 2002). At ease, I was glad I sorted that out before I went insane.

  Then later, I thought of something: the man who plays Moriarty in Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows is named Jared Harris... So I started wondering if they were related. Once again, to Google! *insert classic Batman TV show music*

  And sure enough, they are. Richard Harris was Jared Harris's dad. So that means...

Huh. You'd think he'd have turned out better...

  I just find that incredibly cool. And it proves how my interests are slowly turning into "Six Degrees of Sherlock Holmes". (And I am okay with that).

  Anyway, I just felt like sharing that cool fact...

More Parody Riechenbach Theories

  Well, a couple months ago, I wrote a post with some crack-y theories as to how Cumberlock survived falling from a building in "The Riechenbach Fall" episode of Sherlock. Well, I got more ideas! So here they are, back by no one's demand!

  - Molly had a Phoenix Down
  - Molly captured a Reaper. (Somewhere across town, either Anderson, Donavan, or Sebastian the guy from the stock market fell down dead...)
  - The Oswin Oswald Effect, or alternatively...
  - The Rory Williams Effect
  - He had a Ganger
  - The Bad Wolf brought him back
  - Deal with the Devil. 'Nuff said.
  - His body died, but his spirit travelled outside of time and he was eventually reborn as Sherlock The White
  - He was Moriarty's horcrux, and when he died, he had the chance to come back, and did so.
  - A wizard did it
  -Molly was a former Weapon X scientist, and loaded Sherlock up with a healing factor

  ... And finally...

  -He just has the same immortality comic book characters have. They're dead a while, then they come back by some weird contrivance.
 

Underused Characters: Daimen from House of Night

*This Post Contains A lot of fuzzy remembering of the events of the series House of Night by PC and Kristin Cast, snark about them, and also some of the book's

I'm sorry I'm dragging you into something "House of Night"-related, River...

 Reader, Ye Be Warned*

  I dislike the House of Night books.

I mean, I liked them at first. The first book, Marked, was pretty good. Not perfect, but decent. But as the series went on, I slowly realized they could have should have stopped at one and moved on. After Awakened, Moriarty's voice popped in my head and said:

"You can’t be allowed to continue. You just can’t. I would try to convince you, but everything I have to say has already crossed your mind."

  Which was weird, since I hadn't watched Sherlock yet...

Anyway, I might re-read/finish them to do reviews on them someday, maybe in 2014 when the first movie comes out (oh sweet lord almighty WHY WOULD THEY MAKE THEM MOVIES?), or if I absolutely have nothing to read and get desperate (that's why I finished The Twilight Saga!), but I just... no. I don't want to read them anymore without another motive.

  One big problem I have with these books is how a lot of the characters feel underdeveloped. Mainly, the main character Zoey's friends (excluding Stevie Rae and Aphrodite, since they're apparently the only ones who matter and are allowed to develop or do anything). Yeah, pretty much the only reason they exist is:

1. To do rituals when the plot demands it
2. To prove that Zoey has other vampyre/fledgeling friends to back her up besides Stevie Rae.
3. And possibly to show, "Hey, one of her friends is black and another one is gay! Look how wonderful, unracist, open-minded, and accepting she is! LOVE HER, DANG IT!"

  What I'm trying to say is, they're more like props than characters. Which is a shame because one of the characters I felt had a lot more potential, was/could've been interesting, and I would rather read about than the protagonist! That character is Daimen.

  Before I go into the character, lets go over the book series in a nutshell. The story revolves around seventeen-year-old Zoey Redbird. Zoey is a vampyre (yes, that is how it's spelled here) fledging (a not-quite-a-vampyre-yet) at a special school for fledgelings while the go through the change into adult vampyres and hope they don't die from their bodies rejecting the change. Then it's discovered Zoey's the mega-super-awesome-specially-special one with power over all five elements (earth, water, fire, air, and spirit), the representative of the vampyre's goddess, Nyx, and has magic-y vampyre tattoos she gets like every book before she's even a real vampyre (all vampyres here get these tattoos that represent them on their face once they're a full-grown vamp. Like cutie marks on MLP: FiM!). And everyone just adores her! In short, she's kinda a total Mary Sue... I mean she's the chosen one! Yeah... (I got a 54 for her on The Mary Sue Litmus Test. But then, again, I haven't read these books in almost a year (hallelujah), so I'm a bit rusty...)

  But who cares about her? I sure as heck don't. I'm here to talk about Daimen!

  Daimen was introduced in the first book, Marked, as one of the friends and classmates of Zoey's roomie Stevie Rae (and then Zoey herself). They quickly let us know that he is gay, and offers to give them male insight on things without hitting on them. (Because everyone knows straight boys can't be friends with girls without hitting on them. Pssh, that's nonsense! ...Sorry 'bout that...) And also, we're informed that he's different from the other gay HoN students (whom we never see), in that he's not the effeminate-type. He's also shown to be rather well-read, and uses more advanced vocabulary. And to top it off, I think that he was also shown to be a good fencer!

  As the books went on, Daimen gained the power of  (or "an affinity for") wind, and I believe that it's mentioned male vampyre usually don't get powers (at least, not powers of the elements). And he gets an incredibly stereotyped boyfriend named Jack. And said incredibly stereotyped beau was killed for sacrifice in the last book I read because he was so purely pure.

  Anyway, I thought Daimen seemed like a fairly interesting character. I mean, an intelligent, fencing, wind-powered gay vampire? That just sounds awesome! I even hoped when Stevie Rae "died"/ went to the dark side, that he could get more focus. (In fact, it's even been said that he's Zoey's closest friend out of her initial group after Stevie Rae.) Sadly, that never happened. What I want to ask is, why?

  Why did a character with the potential to be interesting get so underused?

  I think part of it is the writers. Like I said, quite a few characters end up being little more than props. Daimen's barely got any sort of plots in the books since I read. The most he got was when Jack died, but even that was mostly glossed over and we barely even saw. What the heck, writers? Why do you skip over most emotional stuff? And he seems like he had the groundwork for some good stories. Especially in the hands of better writers who are better at the development of characters (JK Rowling or Moffat and Gatiss for example, anyone?)

  For example, it's mentioned that he has parents who dissaprove of his sexuality. And that he kept disposable cell phones out of fear in case something went bad. Is this ever touched on again? NO! Just like almost every other thing that doesn't concern Zoey or Stevie Rae!

  To be honest, I would rather have a story about him. Not Zoey. Zoey's annoying (yes, we KNOW you don't like to swear and all, Zoey. And neither do I. But seriously, even I say "crap". "Bullpoopie" just gets annoying...) and I'm sick of her polygamous ways. Daimen could be a much better protagonist. A book about a genius gay teenage vampyre who controls air and can fence? I would totally buy that book and read that! I would FUND the publishing of that book. How many gay vampire characters are out there, honestly? There is an untapped market, here! We'd make millions! Sure, we may or may not get some controversy, but who cares? We did something new!

 Anyway, that's my two bits on Daimen. A character idea that was cursed to be stuck in a terrible series.

  ...Now if you'll excuse me, I got an idea for a post that elaborates my list of complaints about this freakin' series. 

MST #2: Doctor Huh?

  Hey, you know what? I feel like finally MSTing something again! This is another one of Sue Mary's works (we all remember "her", right?) But this time, she takes into the world of Doctor Who... I think... It's madness. (Madness? THIS! IS! TROLLFIC!)

  Well, in the words of Eleven, Geronimo!

(EDIT: I Fixed this because I was having issues with the font color, it should be all good now! :D)

Doktor Hoo is a pretty cool dude eh doesnt afraid of anything. But wat wud happen if an evil one? Or Supahman was dere? That was the inpiration for this story!

...Well, I'm sure this will be a well-written piece of literary masterpiece...

Doctor Huh?

A Originial an Offisial Fanfict by Soo Maree

 

...Or not...
 

City Town, Plaent Earf, ats place da Daily Bungle noos was getting made with peoples like Lowes Layne and Cark Kentle.

 

I visited City Town, Plaent Earf once! It was nothing like the brochure.

 

“SOPT TEH PRESSES!” Goonzo elled to lowd sonds. “Sum body is rubbing the bank!”

...Um... o-kay... so some weirdo's rubbing the bank... must be a slow news day. Does the guy think he's going to get a genie?

Also, WHO THE HECK IS "GOONZO"? Is that like Gonzo from The Muppets? Do they all work for a muppet?

...That would be awesome.

 

Chlark new wat he had 2 do so he jumped ot the winnow and landed at fone booth. He go inot the fone booth and taked off all his cloths. Leetle did anyone no Clark Kempt was aslo… SUPAHMAN!

Ohmygosh my mind is totally blown! I mean, who ever thought the guy who looks just like Superman in glasses was actually Superman? Next you're going to tell me Jim from IT and Richard Brook on Sherlock are both Moriarty. Or that Bruce Wayne is Batman or something crazy like that...

 

Bu when Clark as fooly nakd some1 sayd “WAT ARE U DOIN IN MY HOSE!?!”

 

...Wait, I thought Superman wore his suit under his clothes...

 ...And what is he doing in a someone's hose? ...I'm disturbed to know about your sick personal life, Supes...

 

A man of british and so much bowtie was stare at hims.

 

GREATEST. ELEVENTH DOCTOR DESCRIPTION. EVAH!

 

 Eh had a majik scroodiver that was mad of siense.

 

GREATEST. SONIC SCREWDRIVER DESCRIPTION. EVAH!

 

 “I am tryin to chanje to supa mode why U here?” Supes asked bakk. “I am DOCTOR HOO I life here in da Fone Booth its call TURDIS and go on space ventures.”

 

Ahem... there are so many things wrong with this.

1.  He's just "The Doctor".
2. Technically, it's a Police Box, and
3. It's spelled "TARDIS".

 ...Carry on.

Also:

“Well I haft o stop a bnak rubrery.” Auperman titened his pecs to show he was s a strung heero. “NO! U will be my companon and we wiil fite my evil twin Doctor Huh?!”

I like how The Doctor's more or less kidnapping him. But if I've learned anything from The Nostalgia Critic, it's that if he calls it an adoption, it's okay! :D

 Supearamn didant like this develtement and pressed body against the fone booth winnow to so pepole cold see him and no he was in danger “HEY U KIDDIES HELP ME IM BEEN KIDNAPPED!”

Yes, oh Man of Steel! Ask the small children to help you. They will surely be assets...

...

...Wait...


Supes yelled to sum kiddies but Supeaman was still covered in naked so teh kiddies only saw his huge ‘kelp bunny’ and balls so they were tramartized and scared for life an experimented wif all the otters.

...

Uhh...

...

...I have no proper way to react to this...
 

Da TARTIS got a big rosacea unner neath that blowed up to make it floo up to hier and it wass in spaece Doctor Who sat at Superman “Wach out there isp ace traffic.” 

 "But Doctor, couldn't we just go through the time stream to a time where space traffic isn't so bad? This is a time machine, right?"

 "No, this is ace traffic. Completely... Different. You can't avoid it. It's a fixed point. Plus, it's so... acey-wacey..."

And they was caut in a traffik jum. The Normanty flied if by and hit space fone booth so Doktor Hoo got angried “Hey stope doin that Mormondy!!!!!i13”

What the HECK is a "Normanty"? Or "Mormondy"? Whatever... 

“Its not my falt dat my game endin is bad I am not sorree!” Commamary Shepared grubeed and floo off but the exhast made TURDIS span sidewise and not get no were.

Oh, it's from thse Mass Effect game I've never played. With that ending I keep hearing about. Since I have little knowledge of the series besides that, I'm just going to nod and laugh politely...
 “OH no I AM have a sickly!” Supemon blowed up chunks all over DOKOTR WHO was really mad at the dirty of his place. 

  Man, Digimon have gotten weird since I've watched it...

“Stop burfing up my playse u jerk!IU!IO” Superman did not sorry at Docta becos he was relay made n’ ungry at the supanap. 

"I barf in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries."

 "Is there someone else I can adventure with?"

 "No. Now go away or I shall spray you a second time..."

 

Bajck on Earth the bank rub was goin down supper bad.

"I keep rubbing this inanimate object, but nothing's happening! I WANT MY DANG GENIE!"
“Gife me alls da money or ill shot yuo all up!2o” 

  THREATENING THE GENIE WITH VIOLENCE WILL NOT COMPEL IT TO COME TO YOU!

Tihs was no orindary rubber it was… DOCTOR HUH!!!!

What a twist!
“OK OK heers all are monee just dot kill us weer good dudes.” The bak manajerk did so much of handing the mones. “I will rub all the banks and becos I HAVE ROSACEAS!!! All the pepole gapped at his huge rosaceas reddy to fire an kill.

What kind of freaky skin condition do you have? Is it a Time Lord thing?
None cold stop Doktor Huh or cold they….?

No. No they can't. Maybe someone warmer, though... 

Meenwhile at the same time Doktor HOO an Spuman were still in spase lookin for Doctor Huh no noin that hes rubbing the banks!

Well, that would probably be awkward for The Doctor, knowing he's related to a weirdo who rubs banks..
 “He is cloose now.” But sum robots that was like trasscans but not amd had plujer wepons attacked.

Oh, no. Tell me they're not...
Superman codant used his powers becos he was nekked an didant want pepole to see him like that.

Still? Eleven, what is it with you and not properly clothing people when you go on your first TARDIS adventures together?
“Oh no thoss robots!” Doktor used his majerk crewdriver to make a spase helmut to go to out and combat wif dem.

 Hey, it's that Sonic Screwdriver power we've never seen! And yet, it still can't do wood... 

The robost fired bad stuff at Doctor Hoon but he had a sheelds to they refelcted back to kill a few. “EXSANGUINATE!!!IO1~~1111”

NO! It is... The Daleks! (And they aren't robots. They're more like aliens in robot suits/alien cyborg thingies... (that's putting it scientifically))
 Sai the robots and they fried rosaceas at Doktor Woos place were Superman was. A big rosacea hittled him rite in da face and it mades Supes supah angory.

"NO!! MY BEAUTIFUL FACE HAS A SKIN CONDITION! YOU WILL PAY!!!" (I apologize to anyone with rosacea, I mean no offence, BTW)

“All rite its time for wat I lik to call: DA KRYPTONIAN SLUSHY!11io!” Auper floo in thru space and sarted to kill them but taking the robots an put ebtween his pekkz to skwish them all hard till they was like slussy.

Superman just crushed some Daleks in between his pecks.

Superman just crushed some Daleks in between his pecks.

...Wrap your head around that.

Doctor Who was ver impressed at powerful move. “Now dat was a REEL FITE. Yur more powaful than I thotted, Supermens.” Doktor What congratulationed with British integrity.

"...congratulationed with British integrity." That is the greatest phrase in this whole fic.
“ALLER TI FOWND DOKTOR HUH!” Sayd the TARDIS space commuter. “HE IS RUBBING THE BANK!!iuo1”

OHMYGOSHWHATATWISTIHADNOIDEA!

 Supes and Doktah gapsed, the bank was it the hole time?

Yes, now run before it tags you! (Lame joke is lame) 

“Well don’t worry then we can just kill him qwick.”

Bu-but the Doctor doesn't like killing. Unless it's Daleks 'cause they're evil.

...

...Wait...

And the TADRIS killed Doktor Huh with a orbital strike to kill him.

Greatest Anti-Climatic Ending Ever!

“Thanks Dock, now we both win.” So Doktor Who and Supperman wents off to have lots of more coold adventares!

YAY! Remember kids: when someone kidnaps you, don't worry! They'll lead you on cool adventures in their spaceship!
...

Wait...
 

THE END FOR NOW

(mayebt more latter but ony if u revyoo guyz like rthis 1)

  Sadly, there probably won't be, for our dear Sue Mary got kicked off of fanfiction.net because of Critics United. (Long story short, they're kind of the "Stop Having Fun, Guys" of the site and led to the deletion of several fics that were written solely for fun/entertainment, including all of Sue Mary's and "her" alter ego Marissathewriter's work. Even though they clearly weren't serious. And yet, stories that are genuinely horrible still got to stay. While horribly hilarious ones got the boot. There is no justice on the interwebs...) Though you can still find some of "her" work on Tumblr.

  Anyway, this is, as usual, a terrible fic. A terribly hilarious one. Well, glad I finally finished this one. Now to continue my draft clearout...



Well, Since There Won't Be A New Elementary Tonight Or Next Week...

  ...I've decided to use this time for some spring three weeks into the new year cleaning! I have a bunch of post drafts here, and I figure I'd better finish them and put them out. So, here's some of what to expect (though I may change my mind on some of these):

• Two MSTs of "trollfics" I have lying around
• A sort of "series" I wanted to start on characters I feel are underutilized in various things
• Something on the pros and cons of fandoms I happen to be a part of
• More "for the lulz" theories regarding "The Reichenbach Fall"
• A "Things I Would Pay And/Or Kill A Man To See" post
• And possibly a list of my favorite things about Marvel's Cinematic Universe

  ...So that's what to expect, dearies. The first post of my new year clean-out (an MST) should be up really soon.

"Please, Jim, Will You Fix It For Me?"

... So, my beloved Benedict Cumberbatch did not win at The Golden Globes.

  I am dissapointed. He really deserved it. Oh, well; he still has that Crime Thriller Award (which looks SO MUCH COOLER by the way...) But he's still amazing. It just be nice if The Hollywood Foreign Press Assosiation could've rewarded it...

  In other news, I've decided I'm never watching Hatford and McCoys as it is no doubt awful and not as good as Sherlock... >:(

Loveable Freak Reviews Elementary: Episode 12 "M"

   Oh. My. Gosh.

  After a week of reciting the mantra "please don't screw this up" over and over, and preparing for the best and worst case scenarios, this episode has finally arrived. And may I just say one thing: I'm gonna start reciting the mantra "Please give Benedict Cumberbatch a Golden Globe this Sunday, because he's earned it", since apparently the chanting worked!

  So, it's time to actually, *gasp*mostly gush about an Elementary episode! Let's go on and on about this thing! Beware the...

  It's the last few days of Joan's tenure as Sherlock's sober companion, and reluctant as she is to leave, she wants to wrap things up right. But then they get called in for a homicide. What happens is a person has been murdered in a rather macabre way: he was hung upside down and had his neck slit, resulting in loosing all blood in his bod, then dumped the body somewhere else, leaving only the puddle. (Already I could tell this is was going to be fun! >:D ...Am I a terrible person for thinking that?) When the duo gets there, Sherlock knows all-too-well who's done it. A mysterious killer known as "M", who Sherlock's been looking for since England. But this time, Sherlock's not looking to get the killer arrested. He's looking for revenge for Irene Adler's death...

  First of all, I rarely comment on the writers here with Elementary, but this time the creator came around to write for the first time since "Pilot" and "While You Were Sleeping"And may I just say he's been holding out on us, both with those episodes and not writing any other times. THIS. EPISODE. WAS. AWESOME.

  First of all, Millerlock. He really goes into a dark place here. He ends up capturing the killer and taking him to an abandoned storage place to torture and kill him, with all sorts of instruments to deliver pain with. He says this one line about how he thought of using bees to torture him, but realized "M" might be allergic and said something like "I didn't want our little game to end so soon". I seriously think he was a hanging hook to "M"'s shoulder and a record player playing music by Schubert away from straying into Moriarty territory. He gets better at the end, but still, yikes. Almost as bad as The Ninth Doctor when he discovered the last Dalek...

 I also liked his brief story about his and Irene's relationship, and why she was so special to him. I could believe that for him...

  ...And he admitted he was going to miss Joan! That made my heart happy...

  And now for Joan! First of all, turns out, like John on Sherlock, she has a therapist, too. And you can see that she wants to stay (as her therapist points out). She even admits to Millerlock that "I'm going to miss this..." There's also my usual gushes about her cleverness and deductive skill. And you could see her concern for Millerlock, and she tries to keep him from going over the edge. And, in the end, after everything is done, she voices her concerns to Daddy Holmes, and requests she stays. But that big jerky-jerk head Daddy Holmes says "no", but Joan decides to stay anyway, paid or not! :D Though she lies to Millerlock and says he's letting her stay. Joannie, lying is wrong, but if it keeps you around I'm okay with it!

  Now the big thing: who is our assassin? Well, it's not Moriarty, sadly. It's something even better. Someone I figured it probably was from the first few minutes...

  Sebastian. Moran.

  Moriarty's right hand man Sebastian Moran!

  I got the dorkiest grin when it turned out to be him! Vinnie Jones, the actor who plays him here, did great as Moran. I could totally see this as a modern Moran. He won me over in the first few minutes. Heck, during the "pre-torture" scene, I was begging Millerlock not to kill
 him! I was saying, "No, Millerlock! Don't kill Moran! He's the second best thing to appear on this show (first being Joan) and the best antagonist since "Child Predator"! LISTEN TO THE ASSASSIN!!"

  And Moran wasn't the one to kill Adler. No no, that was his employer...

  Moriarty.

 Again, I got the biggest, dorkiest look of joy on my face. I wish I could show you my notes at this point, because they're hilarious, but Blogger's being uncooperative with uploading new photos. Oh well, maybe in a different post...

  Okay, final notes:

• Nods to Canon were Millerlock admitting one of the reasons he did drugs before Irene died was boredom and the fact he seemed to have a group like the Baker Street Irregulars here.
• I had a lot of favorite scenes. Mainly the "Me. Baton." scene, a lot of Moran's scenes, the fact Millerlock suspects a Vietnamese restaurant is smuggling songbirds, and the "pre-torture" scene.
• So, your house is your "Sanctum Sanctorum", eh, Millerlock? Please tell me that was a Doctor Strange reference...
• I wasn't found of the one "Irregular-eske" kid. JOANNIE IS NOT A HOOKER, PEASANT!! D:<
• Yes, every woman gets dressed in the living room of where they're at with a giant window open when their in a high-up building... *eyeroll*
• Apparently, when I was looking up Vinnie Jones, it turns out he was a former soccer player. Moran watches a lot of soccer, even on the job. I see what you did there, writers...

  Overall, this episode was awesome. I'm actually... excited for the next episode. Hopefully they'll be consistent now that they've had this episode. This is the sort of thing I was hoping for with this. |

  But bad news is there won't be a new episode next week. Already? Ugh! (Was I just disappointed there won't be a new Elementary next week? Weird...)