Monday, November 18, 2013

Ezekiel: Angelus Ex Machina (Or:Dear Supernatural Writers, Please Stop With Ezekiel The Angel Of Bad Writing And Ruining Everything)


*WARNING: SPOILERS FOR THE SEASON EIGHT FINALE AND SEASON NINE OF SUPERNATURAL*

  *sigh* I came into season 9 with such high hopes. Granted, it's only been six episodes going on seven, buuuut it's kind of a mess. Why is it all the seasons divisible by three are less than stellar? It's like the fabled Star Trek movie curse. I'll get into my problems a little more when the season's over and all's said, done, and sorted. But there's kind of a big one I have vent about...


 Ezekiel.

  Hoo boy, Ezekiel.

  Okay, so to recap, at the end of season 8, the angels are forced from heaven, Cas is brought down to human, and Sam collapses dramatically. So, in Season 9's premiere, Dean gets desperate to bring his baby bro back (despite Death himself telling him what happens every time they pull this stunt... But hey, it's Sammy, the little brother he literally gave his life for, I can understand the irrationality...), even praying to the newly fallen angels for help. One angel comes to answer the holy ad, seeming to genuinely want to help. His name's Ezekiel.

  So, Ezekiel offers a little deal: he possesses Sam as a vessel to recuperate from the fall (switching between his and Sam's consciousnesses, Sam never needing to know he's there, otherwise he'd reject him from his body and die) and he heals Sam from within. Okay, that seems alright so far. The consent's dubious (yeah, Lucifer had more consent to possess Sam... I'll let that sink in...), but it could be interesting.

  Then he became what I call "Angelus Ex Machina" (or would it be "Angelus Ex Moosina?").


  In the second episode, he takes down a group of demons with his holy power. I was okay with this, the effect was pretty cool (I dug the ratty wings) and I figured we would occasionally get angelic smiting wrath of the divine. Then came the third episode, where Cas temporarily dies and Zeke revives him. Eh... That was okay... I guess. Then comes episode four, where out of nowhere Zeke comes up for no other reason but to revive Charlie when she died. (Really? You pulled the "LOL Not Dead" thing twice in a row, writers?) Are you starting to see my issue here? Then EPISODE FIVE, ZEKE POPS OUT OF FREAKIN' NOWHERE YET AGAIN TO HEAL SAM'S NECK WOUND, NEARLY EXPOSING HIMSELF AND LEADING HIM TO HAVE TO FIX SAM UP AGAIN...

 Yeah, basically, Ezekiel has been killing all the suspense in the show. It says a lot when one of the reasons I liked the okay-but-flawed sixth episode, "Heaven Can't Wait" (besides the stuff with Crowley and the stuff with Cas) is that Ezekiel didn't come in like a wrecking ball. I mean, I can understand occasionally using him or referencing him, but this is obscene. And it cheapens death even more in this show, where the three major characters practically have two-way fast passes for the afterlife. (I'm getting tired of writers not killing off characters for real in general lately. LET'S SEE SOME BLOOD SPILT FOR REAL, MAN!)

  Also, this is exactly the reason I think they sent Cas away or nerfed his powers all the time back when he was an angel: it's a game breaker. I know that nothing can ever be easy for Sam and Dean. It's part of the drama, seeing how the boys get out of their predicament of the week. I understand from a story perspective. Having an angel around kind of tips the scales too much, since all he has to do is smite the monster and then they can go out for beer and ice cream. In short, it'd be boring. Congratulations, You're illustrating why having Castiel around all the time wouldn't have worked from a story perspective... Now it's "how's the angel going get them out of this?" instead of "how're The Winchesters going to get themselves out of this?" If you wanted to do this, you could've just kept Cas an angel, instead of making him a human and pushing him aside, as if to say, "Hey, you're not an angel! You serve little to no purpose to us anymore!" Way to show him love...

  Third, he throws the known power levels out of whack. I seem to recall when Cas more or less "fell", he couldn't heal people. Zeke's healing people left and right, and he's supposedly "so weak". Granted, it's a different situation, but still. I'm assuming Cas and Zeke were at least at a similar level. Also, if he's able to revive the freaking dead, couldn't he just hop into Dean a while (he's the Michael Sword, he can take it), fix Sam (who's sure to have what Zeke's been doing to him still working a little bit), and go find someone more willing to host him? Is he really still "so weak"? Seemed fine to me after those two times. Unless they're gearing up to reveal he's an archangel (most are guessing Lucifer, based on his 2014 prophesy. But hey, Lucy lies. I'm hoping for Gabriel, who's rumored to return...), I'm finding my willing suspension of disbelief being tested, here.

  Basically, if any of the writers are reading this, just... do away with Ezekiel. Or at least don't pull him out for every little thing. I know Jared Padalecki (Sam/Ezekiel) is all excited about doing something new, I respect that. Just, please... You can write so much better, guys. Just look back at season 8! Or season 5! I'm hardly a professional writer, TV or otherwise, but I know good writing when I see it. And this... Isn't it... Please. I love this show. Don't ruin it with this sort of thing...

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